Tag: #addiction

Break the stigma, share your story. I will share mine. Addiction isn’t permanent, but Recovery can be.

The addiction must go; the person must stay.

I have no interest in commenting on the Reiner family tragedy. Nick Reiner has only been charged and is presumed innocent at this point. I know next …The addiction must go; the person must stay.

Step it up a notch

Trigger Warning- References to suicide and self harm, this is a poem I wrong months and months ago before today, when I found it in saved drafts, I decided to publish it, due to the poignance and the power of the ; and it’s meaning, and significance, worth and hope…

WRITER’S BLOCK

A.K.A Survivor’s Block Original publication from myself, on my previous blog, DANCINGWITHENVELOPES -July 22nd 2019- One tough year indeed that was! I chose to republish it today, as it still resonates quite hauntingly, although not all for the same reasons… This is no apology For loss of ravenous words to free I have been ‘unable’ … Continue reading WRITER’S BLOCK →

The Green Mist

Originally written and published on 6th April 2018, on my earlier blog- http://www.dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com Hidden, lie the unseen branches Vanished, now- unseen green bloom Deathly claws frosting, winter’s gloom Tender, stems sleep, beneath chill moon Fallow, the heart of a breathless Earth Yet still come the brave, to spear through Ice glazed armour You will see … Continue reading The Green Mist →

Salvaging the sails

This post was originally published on my earlier blog- dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- On January 19th 2019 Writing this post has taken me a great deal of courage. However, as does every day require courage, every hour that I continue to walk this path, towards recovery. Thus, if ‘practice makes perfect’, I have reasoned with myself, that it … Continue reading Salvaging the sails →

I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my ‘self’…

Am I ‘allowed’ to post about NOT being ALRIGHT?💙‘It’s okay not to be okay’💚 I wonder why I felt as though this even had to be considered a question… self doubt’s reliable ‘on’ switch, quickly reminded me, as the champion over thinker I am, YES- clearly, self doubt might be pulling too many of my … Continue reading I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my ‘self’… →

Explore Original Artwork, poetry, and Latest Updates

New updates and original Artwork! Enjoy! https://mindinmotion.home.blog/2024/07/13/sketch-your-emotions-free/?page_id=3969 Poetry Yet poetry can forge lyrics from mere words, and be sources of support, for when people- myself included- need that extra art of words and reframing of the fight- to help them through darkness coated mental health journeys, where relentless depression and delusions, dissociation and trauma can … Continue reading Explore Original Artwork, poetry, and Latest Updates →

The birthday I never thought I’d live to see

Featured

http://www.facebook.com/share/1YdfoAejCw/ (Please use the link above to access more to my story and this whole story, and the fundraiser page itself!) Remarkably, I experienced my 35th birthday yesterday (16th June). Whilst many of us, including myself, face the natural shock and aversion to advancing digits of age, feeling ‘old’ and fretting naturally, for the cosmetic … Continue reading The birthday I never thought I’d live to see →

The disease of addiction- We came to realise

Hiding the the shadows, of yet another relapse So sick and tired now I’m locked in flames and smoke filled haze Now frozen in the afterglow Of an old life, an earlier ‘life‘ A life I cling to reluctantly Refusing to let go But the curtain’s drop has severed the show It is time for … Continue reading The disease of addiction- We came to realise →

Slipping as I am gripping

Whenever you turn over that old familiar phrase: ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’, what do you think of? ‘Rock bottom’- in reference to a ‘place’ which words, fears, struggles and experiences, have all come together, in a tragedy of human sufferings, to create language which wields such a strange power, to turn memory and words into a … Continue reading Slipping as I am gripping →

A shower of words to help those on a healing journey… which is all of us really…❤️

I hope you enjoyed reading these powerful quotes and messages, and that in all their diversity, you find one or two… or three! Which resonate with you strongly, wherever you are in your journey right now! ❤️

Why the fuck did I think that!?

Welcome to the end of another pretty ruthless year; 2024. This time last year, I felt a great deal more celebratory in this day, the birthday of Jesus Christ- 25th December…. I’d just been discharged from a hospital admission whereby my abusive ex partner had found out where I was feeling and staying in refuge … Continue reading Why the fuck did I think that!? →

We do return, and we do recover

Narcotics Anonymous- Although I guess I’m sacrificing my own anonymity here amusingly… I’ll happily proclaim my own identity, with pride and nothing near shame. Never would I break the anonymity of anyone besides myself, that goes without saying! I’m sharing an update that I posted to a support group for fellow warriors of recovery from … Continue reading We do return, and we do recover →

Absolutely no chance do I ‘trust my instincts’!

Do you trust your instincts? Would YOU trust this person’s instincts!? Exactly as I thought- NOT A CHANCE 🤣 Seriously though, no I do not trust my instincts! I maybe once thought I could, and subsequently made the error of trusting them in years gone by… But if only you could see the train wreck … Continue reading Absolutely no chance do I ‘trust my instincts’! →

Hard work… Not a headline many people will warm to!

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled? *First of all- Credit for the featured image set for this post goes to the wonderfully talented Artist Ella Dorson, who created the portrait of myself and my dog, blended spoken words exchanged between us beautifully, and used her Artwork of me alongside and part … Continue reading Hard work… Not a headline many people will warm to! →

The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they ‘fade’… My song which was not ‘my last’ after all.

One of the most heartbreaking songs I ever improvised, singing out what I genuinely believed to be my last goodbyes, feeling lost to the dark and dreadful lure of suicide, I found myself singing this song because I couldn’t say the words ‘help’ any louder than I already had been doing for years in my … Continue reading The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they ‘fade’… My song which was not ‘my last’ after all. →

Enable the (sober life) rave, get thy hose pipe to the garden floor!

vm.tiktok.com/ZGevAG7E3/ Now that I'm doing the whole sober life thing (not that I ever truly needed chemical assistance to get on the floor and rave like the dance floor is the Lord/Lordess... Lordthey -!?- to which I devote divine worship to, religiously)... I sometimes (every day) miss partying and raving my tits off, like my … Continue reading Enable the (sober life) rave, get thy hose pipe to the garden floor! →

Oh behold all the fucks I give!

vm.tiktok.com/ZGe7TMTpV/ I'm skint, I've ran out of me meds, the mental health services in this city (barring the charity Mind), have added even more ingredients to that C-PTSD diagnosis I've been gifted by life and Psychiatrists, the Bipolar shits and giggles that in all seriousness- CLEARLY cause problems and shenanigans... The perpetrators and the global … Continue reading Oh behold all the fucks I give! →

Sketch your emotions free

Words can sometimes deceive us, despite their brilliant potential, they also have a power to constrain us, and lack the power to enable certain things to be expressed… We could write and speak, mask and pretend all we like, if only we could, and also, if only we didn’t inadvertently do our mental wellbeing harm, … Continue reading Sketch your emotions free →

How about this for a bit of raw reality, shed a little light on ‘Great Britain’s’ plight

I don’t care anymore about holding back, this is what ‘Great Britain’ looks like today, I am not scared to share situations which others will resonate with, silently. Confession time: Yeah, cheers government emergency crisis loan, I actually ended up using the £348 you to pay for my suicide. Rather than use it for the … Continue reading How about this for a bit of raw reality, shed a little light on ‘Great Britain’s’ plight →

The job I would and will always do for free- but hear me now, the world has never been so close to losing me

What job would you do for free? In the midst of the madness in which I am currently (and really, always have been, but never so aware of the extent to which I am trapped inside it) I will agree with the part of myself that is commanding me to finish off some final writing … Continue reading The job I would and will always do for free- but hear me now, the world has never been so close to losing me →

This soul has seen enough. This time, I am saying my final goodbye.

The end of the road, a draft I have published too soon, about my mental health journey, and the consequences of abominable mental health failure in Hull, UK. Suicide- I’m not the only one.

FYI- I ranted myself to life, reflecting on recent posts

We will see where this goes So yeah, you may have stumbled upon my posts which pertain to serious intent upon giving up. I still feel deeply afflicted by the pain of knowing I could have, and would have, fulfilled a potential, helped others through my lived experiences, go on to be one of the … Continue reading FYI- I ranted myself to life, reflecting on recent posts →

Flashbacks come, and flashbacks go. Just like imprints, in the snow.

Poem ‘Imprints in the snow’ A reflective piece inspired and triggered by experiences of C-PTSD, recovery, flashbacks, memories, and resilience.

Oh I Love this for a daily Question!

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain. Say what? ‘So, I must ask you Ellie, how come someone who’s got a University Degree and a brain like yours ended up an addict who’s also been sectioned on a mental health ward?!’ The question itself is easy and funny to answer if I’m … Continue reading Oh I Love this for a daily Question! →

The warrior and the shield

Life can be tough, I’m sure we can all agree. Sure it’s got its beautiful moments and even years, too, but we go through life, and despite individual differences in specific circumstances, we are on a battlefield, always. You can’t afford to let your guard down, neither can you afford to simply hide away from … Continue reading The warrior and the shield →

The sadness seen in the face of a recovering addict, post- ‘lapse’/‘relapse’

It may have only been ‘just one night’ where I found myself , having lost a colossal extent of self belief, motivation and hope, which ‘led me to using for the night’, but a ‘lapse’ is still technically a ‘relapse’, and it needs to be faced, head on, not hidden away from. To own your … Continue reading The sadness seen in the face of a recovering addict, post- ‘lapse’/‘relapse’ →

To all the lost, the survivors, the families the friends. My mental health is a journey, I too must pursue.

I want to take your hand in mine, then together, try and pull us through. A photo taken when i travelled in India… I think it fits well with the topic I realised it’s going to take more than just written words and spoken testimonies, which match like mirrors, the same actions others have tried … Continue reading To all the lost, the survivors, the families the friends. My mental health is a journey, I too must pursue. →

Questions needing an answer

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be? ‘My head!!’ That drinking an entire bottle of Kraken Rum is NOT for cats! If only she could have understood my English language, when I warned her: ‘I wouldn’t be necking all that Rum, Molly, even I can’t handle the ruin caused … Continue reading Questions needing an answer →

‘Do you need money’?

God, doesn’t the sight of it just make you mad you can’t just reach into this still image and grab it, so you can heat your home? I stumbled upon an interesting question posted by a group on Facebook called ‘Humble Quote’. The question: ‘Answer This QuestionWithoutSaying, Yeah, Yea, Yo, Yes, Yah, Yup, Yap, Yep,'DO … Continue reading ‘Do you need money’? →

Why We Are Sad- an original post I’ve re blogged…I’m addressing this subject from the point of view of ‘the other side’

If you love an addict or an alcoholic, you probably struggle with sadness. Maybe your sadness has spiraled into depression, or anxiety, or some … Why We Are Sad A re-blog I simply had to share, alongside my own ‘reply’ to the perspective of the author who speaks passionately about ‘Why we are sad’… There … Continue reading Why We Are Sad- an original post I’ve re blogged…I’m addressing this subject from the point of view of ‘the other side’ →

Re-blog of a post I resonate with deeply, as I’m sure others will too: My Overwhelming Reality of BPD

I may have learnt (and written about!) many techniques and strategies to manage my personality disorder, but that doesn’t mean that I’m magically … My Overwhelming Reality of BPD

2023

2023 was a year wherein I was still asleep Slumbering through the nightmare Of all things lost, and now not there I’d lost my ability to even weep The suffering had become so normal When I began to become aware The realisation was such a scare Like id woken up dismembered on a train track … Continue reading 2023 →

Is this your life

Spinning slowly eyes unfocused a faint light in the distance coming through. Awakened from a slumber a sluggish haze that’s all around you. Shadows … Is this your life I really resonated with this brilliant poem. I can’t express enough how much I could relate to it, feel the sadness within, the despair. But when … Continue reading Is this your life →

Rising From The Dead

Addiction buries us and totally destroys an individual and those they love. Getting out of the web of addiction can be attainable only if the addict …Rising From The Dead

5 Consequences of Drug Addiction Stigma

Addiction stigma can create serious challenges. Learn 5 effects of drug addiction stigma and how to break the cycle of shame.5 Consequences of Drug Addiction Stigma

Salvaging the sails

This is another re-blog of a post I wrote on my old blog, and for fear of repeating myself about certain topics I’ve had experiences with in life, I decided that actually, it serves as a reminder that recovery truly is a journey that takes time over many years, usually. This is not a bad … Continue reading Salvaging the sails →

Time to live

Why I’m writing again, how I remembered that the ‘time to live’ (not merely exist or survive), was now. Finding freedom from adversity in life also helped me find my pen. Let’s get writing!

The 13 year long ‘party’

Oh fuck. One way to give a good review… I may have just realised, I believe… That it may well be the case that I am in this position and circumstance in life today, because of the fact that I never did in fact go to bed, after that rave, in Sheffield, whereupon I took … Continue reading The 13 year long ‘party’ →

Time addicted

A poem I originally wrote for Recovery month of September 2023, which deserves words and celebration. I reflect on my own experiences which battered me, until I was made a warrior, strength came to me through the unlikely source of suffering and sadness, which I kept having to endure. An amusing picture pointing out a … Continue reading Time addicted →