PUTTING BACK THE PIECES OF THAT JIGSAW

A republication from my earlier blog- Dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- originally published August 2017 AUGUST 1, 2017 DANCINGWITHENVELOPES LEAVE A COMMENT Tuesday 1st August is todayโ€ฆ Iโ€™m finally beginning to return to a mental state I truly couldnโ€™t even remember, or imagine, feeling again, only a few days ago. With it, I am beginning to find I can manage to … Continue reading PUTTING BACK THE PIECES OF THAT JIGSAW

REMEMBERING THE ROUTE TOWARDS THE โ€˜UPโ€™

SNIPPETS OF THOUGHT โ€˜This too shall passโ€™ -Retrieved from my first blog, where I originally wrote and published this- March 30th 2017-  DANCINGWITHENVELOPES  Over this last week, it became increasingly apparent that I was moving forwards from Depression. I suddenly had feelings again, I wasnโ€™t under a bell jar, my surroundings were inviting me to … Continue reading REMEMBERING THE ROUTE TOWARDS THE โ€˜UPโ€™

The Green Mist

Originally written and published on 6th April 2018, on my earlier blog- http://www.dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com Hidden, lie the unseen branches Vanished, now- unseen green bloom Deathly claws frosting, winterโ€™s gloom Tender, stems sleep, beneath chill moon Fallow, the heart of a breathless Earth Yet still come the brave, to spear through Ice glazed armour You will see … Continue reading The Green Mist

I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my โ€˜selfโ€™โ€ฆ

Am I โ€˜allowedโ€™ to post about NOT being ALRIGHT?๐Ÿ’™โ€˜Itโ€™s okay not to be okayโ€™๐Ÿ’š I wonder why I felt as though this even had to be considered a questionโ€ฆ self doubtโ€™s reliable โ€˜onโ€™ switch, quickly reminded me, as the champion over thinker I am, YES- clearly, self doubt might be pulling too many of my … Continue reading I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my โ€˜selfโ€™โ€ฆ

Explore Original Artwork, poetry, and Latest Updates

New updates and original Artwork! Enjoy! https://mindinmotion.home.blog/2024/07/13/sketch-your-emotions-free/?page_id=3969 Poetry Yet poetry can forge lyrics from mere words, and be sources of support, for when people- myself included- need that extra art of words and reframing of the fight- to help them through darkness coated mental health journeys, where relentless depression and delusions, dissociation and trauma can … Continue reading Explore Original Artwork, poetry, and Latest Updates

The birthday I never thought Iโ€™d live to see

Featured

http://www.facebook.com/share/1YdfoAejCw/ (Please use the link above to access more to my story and this whole story, and the fundraiser page itself!) Remarkably, I experienced my 35th birthday yesterday (16th June). Whilst many of us, including myself, face the natural shock and aversion to advancing digits of age, feeling โ€˜oldโ€™ and fretting naturally, for the cosmetic … Continue reading The birthday I never thought Iโ€™d live to see

I dared myself to write, in the style of a Shakespearean Quill

You ready? My Artwork here inspired by my late Mother Shรขn Nevesโ€ฆ I chose it because itโ€™s message and itโ€™s theme fit my words in this creative, dark, alluring, artistic, fateful and literally- My work, and life, be a metamorphoses in progressโ€ฆ A snippet: โ€˜You, madame, your hands, with their white fair curling fingers, which … Continue reading I dared myself to write, in the style of a Shakespearean Quill

Slipping as I am gripping

Whenever you turn over that old familiar phrase: โ€˜Hitting Rock Bottomโ€™, what do you think of? โ€˜Rock bottomโ€™- in reference to a โ€˜placeโ€™ which words, fears, struggles and experiences, have all come together, in a tragedy of human sufferings, to create language which wields such a strange power, to turn memory and words into a … Continue reading Slipping as I am gripping

One word to describe the cataclysm of a self that is I!?

Word to describe myself? Tough one- but Iโ€™m going to go with โ€˜Spiritedโ€™ โ€˜Spiritedโ€™ I have not the audacity to call myself โ€˜unconquerableโ€™, because, believe me, life has threatened and humbled my steadfast and passionate spirit with too many a persistent reminder, not to get ahead of myself, and to learn the (inconvenience of a … Continue reading One word to describe the cataclysm of a self that is I!?

Once I Was

Once, I was a butterfly, flapping vibrant wings- patterns swirling, circling, web-like threads of light. A storm of color, painted bold, that stunned the dawn's first golden sight. The buddleia marveled โ€” we look like a supernova when she rests upon our blossoms, wings outstretched in gentle trust, soft against the morning hush. Sunlight spilled … Continue reading Once I Was

A shower of words to help those on a healing journeyโ€ฆ which is all of us reallyโ€ฆโค๏ธ

I hope you enjoyed reading these powerful quotes and messages, and that in all their diversity, you find one or twoโ€ฆ or three! Which resonate with you strongly, wherever you are in your journey right now! โค๏ธ

Sketches from my mindโ€™s edges: Explore snippets of my original Artwork- simply click โ€˜menuโ€™ button at the top of page to scroll down and select page ๐ŸŽจ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿฆโ€โฌ›

Featured

There is no such thing as a mistake in Art. Creativity to the Mind is like the fallen Acorn which dropped into dark Earth below, only to become light and majesty in the growth of a new Oak Tree. Optimism in the Oak Treeโ€™s revival โ€˜Selfโ€™- The Colourstorm in motion Window to the Soul Cyclical … Continue reading Sketches from my mindโ€™s edges: Explore snippets of my original Artwork- simply click โ€˜menuโ€™ button at the top of page to scroll down and select page ๐ŸŽจ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿฆโ€โฌ›

Sharing mind hacks for our minds in motion!

Hello! A question we can all benefit from sharing between usโ€ฆ What are some of the different ways people try to keep themselves distracted/occupied/ mentally engaged for lengths of time? Iโ€™m talking: Coping strategies for those extra tough days, a new challenge to try doing something new or different, ways to try and keep your … Continue reading Sharing mind hacks for our minds in motion!

Making sense

I feel the terror of acknowledgment My whole mind and body, thoughts and beliefs Have been fabricated by cruel traumaโ€™s pretence Iโ€™ve been living my whole life in the narrative of the past tense See that colour, glimpse that number? Awaken thy devilโ€™s idle slumber I remember staring, into that stud of a groove, Piercing … Continue reading Making sense

Why Care?

Prove this wrong! Why care?  Sometimes to even manage to care is in itself a tremendous challenge, and from a very basic level, there is your first reason to pursue caring- because to be unable to do so is so very torturous, and certainly a place you donโ€™t want to remain shackled within.  So care … Continue reading Why Care?

Reclaiming a self- Philosophical Quotes which enable me to keep on paving my own path

Sent from the Wisdom app.

Why the fuck did I think that!?

Welcome to the end of another pretty ruthless year; 2024. This time last year, I felt a great deal more celebratory in this day, the birthday of Jesus Christ- 25th Decemberโ€ฆ. Iโ€™d just been discharged from a hospital admission whereby my abusive ex partner had found out where I was feeling and staying in refuge … Continue reading Why the fuck did I think that!?

How could I ever hold back the absolute magnitude of gratitude I have to Mind HEY- Your Crisis Pad has saved my life

Smiling is always possible again I know Iโ€™ve posted about this before, and rightly so. This time though Iโ€™m going to be more to the point, and the title has already basically said it all. All thatโ€™s left to add to it, is the highlight of the entire reason Iโ€™m still here to be writing … Continue reading How could I ever hold back the absolute magnitude of gratitude I have to Mind HEY- Your Crisis Pad has saved my life

Smiles rise across faces, like silent songs, hushing storms as they pass

More than just a โ€˜serviceโ€™ So I admit itโ€ฆ Recently, Iโ€™ve had a great deal of negative and emotionally charged declarations of fury to spurt out in angry statements, regarding the NHS, and โ€˜the state of the present day failingsโ€™ which recent experiences may well have influenced in shaping my words. In fact, Iโ€™ve been … Continue reading Smiles rise across faces, like silent songs, hushing storms as they pass

A Place To Flyโ€ฆ

A poem written by myself 19/10/2024 A place To Fly I have pictures, like paper trials, of a mind, absconded Words can be my muse, but they can deceive and confuse In sketches, the wrought iron gate, whereby the words keep watch, under key, lateโ€ฆ A head filled with secret salubrity, ideas, overgrown trenches, sodden … Continue reading A Place To Flyโ€ฆ

Hard workโ€ฆ Not a headline many people will warm to!

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled? *First of all- Credit for the featured image set for this post goes to the wonderfully talented Artist Ella Dorson, who created the portrait of myself and my dog, blended spoken words exchanged between us beautifully, and used her Artwork of me alongside and part … Continue reading Hard workโ€ฆ Not a headline many people will warm to!

The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they โ€˜fadeโ€™โ€ฆ My song which was not โ€˜my lastโ€™ after all.

One of the most heartbreaking songs I ever improvised, singing out what I genuinely believed to be my last goodbyes, feeling lost to the dark and dreadful lure of suicide, I found myself singing this song because I couldnโ€™t say the words โ€˜helpโ€™ any louder than I already had been doing for years in my … Continue reading The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they โ€˜fadeโ€™โ€ฆ My song which was not โ€˜my lastโ€™ after all.

10 Dark Truths that will Make You Stronger.

Web. 10 Dark Truths that will Make You Stronger. Well worthy re-blog!

Enable the (sober life) rave, get thy hose pipe to the garden floor!

vm.tiktok.com/ZGevAG7E3/ Now that I'm doing the whole sober life thing (not that I ever truly needed chemical assistance to get on the floor and rave like the dance floor is the Lord/Lordess... Lordthey -!?- to which I devote divine worship to, religiously)... I sometimes (every day) miss partying and raving my tits off, like my … Continue reading Enable the (sober life) rave, get thy hose pipe to the garden floor!

Oh behold all the fucks I give!

vm.tiktok.com/ZGe7TMTpV/ I'm skint, I've ran out of me meds, the mental health services in this city (barring the charity Mind), have added even more ingredients to that C-PTSD diagnosis I've been gifted by life and Psychiatrists, the Bipolar shits and giggles that in all seriousness- CLEARLY cause problems and shenanigans... The perpetrators and the global … Continue reading Oh behold all the fucks I give!

A thank you to a previous team, at Mindโ€™s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives.

Iโ€™ve just had a really beneficial, possibly life altering conversation, with a volunteer who works for Hull Mindโ€™s โ€˜Crisis Padโ€™ service- which I probably wouldnโ€™t have had a need or chance to do if certain preliminary and pre-existing NHS services, tasked with the rather voluminous task of saving peopleโ€™s lives within crisis mental health servicesโ€ฆ … Continue reading A thank you to a previous team, at Mindโ€™s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives.

Ooooohhh what a question!

How would you describe yourself to someone who can't see you? The chance to reinvent a โ€˜descriptionโ€™ so suit some eyes that cannot see meโ€ฆ harder than it sounds, and you perhaps Iโ€™m not actually the one best qualified anywayโ€ฆ Wow, Iโ€™m trying to not overthink this or overanalyse the variables which I always feel … Continue reading Ooooohhh what a question!

You donโ€™t have to be โ€˜strongโ€™ all the timeโ€ฆ

Written by myself, a fellow warrior of the mental health lived experience debacle, and the journey of learning how to โ€˜winโ€™โ€ฆ You donโ€™t have to stay strong for everyone. You donโ€™t even โ€˜haveโ€™ to stay strong as a command given to your own self aloneโ€ฆ I think you can give yourself permission and validation to … Continue reading You donโ€™t have to be โ€˜strongโ€™ all the timeโ€ฆ

Power, strength and beautifully mapped journey of a survivor- A song which blew gales of admiration into my soul

open.spotify.com/track/4RurEJ0z5RQbC3bWYKwTbz Sia... 'I Forgive You' I never saw it coming, the electrifying, spine tingling and resonating enrapture, the awe, the gratitude and the falling in love with your music. https://open.spotify.com/track/4RurEJ0z5RQbC3bWYKwTbz?si=nh3muKwPTES9jc61rj_VDA&pi=e-DQmbD5XdRECZ

Mother, remember

Remember how you always loved to play those beautiful songs on the piano at home? How, my earliest memories of you, from the infancy of a toddler, are captured in sacred pictures and sounds, rememberโ€ฆ I watched you in wonder, playing Canon in D, as you played, your talent moved deeply, the core of my … Continue reading Mother, remember

For Light and Memory.

A short read reflecting on the gratitude I have for everything my late mother gave me while she was here, and afterโ€ฆ

Check this person out, she is amazing, in pictures and for real! โฌ‡๏ธ๐Ÿ’œ

http://www.instagram.com/p/Cz9LWK3Mzmm/ โฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŽต Check out the Instagram page of the official above link, it is amazing, the creator talks about struggles with mental health, Bipolar Disorder more specifically, what it's like to live with them, in perfect but simple little images, and somehow manages to capture both the exact means of expressing something myself, and I'm … Continue reading Check this person out, she is amazing, in pictures and for real! โฌ‡๏ธ๐Ÿ’œ

Advice on the journey of healing- your mental health matters

Good intentions says this little guy, good intentions from the making of this meme- but sometimes donโ€™t we just get sick of hearing this statement, as in to the point of screaming: โ€˜Fuck off, I ainโ€™t staying strong, Iโ€™m falling apart, and Iโ€™m too damn tired out to do strong, Iโ€™m too damn low to … Continue reading Advice on the journey of healing- your mental health matters

Bipolar โ€˜tomorrowsโ€™

Hypermanic polar opposites, Bipolar Disorder stirring and bubbling in a broth combined with C-PTSD and a sprinkle of ADHDโ€ฆ Yeah so apparently, thatโ€™s me๐Ÿซจ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿซฃ Not that my coffee table resembles any such a diagnosis at all! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿซฃ๐ŸŽต FYI- It took me fucking HOURS to concentrate enough to write this, so do me a favour and … Continue reading Bipolar โ€˜tomorrowsโ€™

A warningโ€ฆ

You wonโ€™t know until you know, or Iโ€™ve died trying to achieve an end which is for the greater good, particularly in terms of politics, philosophy, and end to globalised corruption, and the primary concern of helping others- most specifically in the dual circumstances of addiction and mental health- but what Iโ€™m finding out is … Continue reading A warningโ€ฆ

Identify- Be strong tonight, and remember who you are

https://open.spotify.com/track/5GK4ax71sSIokiNEZsND3d?si=eUWfK-i3RCOiPpg7Igzu3w Above/or below at the end of this post , letโ€™s find out... is a song which enabled be to rekindle the light of an identity within myself which Iโ€™d too frequently felt I could no longer discover againโ€ฆ I related to the first half of the song, for its harrowing, and spine tingling resonance … Continue reading Identify- Be strong tonight, and remember who you are

Mental health quote

My go: I am the storm, replies the warrior, bellowing the words into the thunder of a roar which made time itself stand still.

Worried you might be in a relationship with a cunt, but canโ€™t quite hear your own intuition?

Listen to this song: https://open.spotify.com/track/05P2XnfYsMtbvajPRcLTzO?si=YkwkLWOwRMCzMyVC-DYRPA&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A3wiZZCpwpuuz3buVj9VkoF Obviously applies to all genders. Cock or the Pea- Youโ€™re both who Iโ€™m talking about! Fuck them off because if you have that niggling worry that your partner is a secret twat, youโ€™re probably right, so for Godโ€™s sake, Dance your path away from them. Donโ€™t ever be afraid to … Continue reading Worried you might be in a relationship with a cunt, but canโ€™t quite hear your own intuition?

7 of 9- The brilliant breaker of the Borgโ€™s grasp, rescued by the crew of Star Trek Voyager

If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why? An icon of pure strength, sexy, stubborn, fiercely intelligent. Like a phoenix, Seven embarks upon a journey of rediscovering the โ€˜selfโ€™ after a hive mind ordeal, entrapment by Borg captivity, she had her individuality purged. Yet despite the darkness … Continue reading 7 of 9- The brilliant breaker of the Borgโ€™s grasp, rescued by the crew of Star Trek Voyager

Visiting your spirit, alone. My return to the Queens building of Castle Hill Hospital, where the lonely suitcase still haunts me.

No ordinary scene was visited this day. At last, and without any inch of hesitation stopping me from my march towards this destination, I adamantly and resolutely walked through those hospital grounds, nothing and nobody would have been able to stop me. The Queens building, Castle Hill Hospital. Oncology, breast care. It did not take … Continue reading Visiting your spirit, alone. My return to the Queens building of Castle Hill Hospital, where the lonely suitcase still haunts me.

I am the storm, replied the warrior, bellowing the words into a roar which made time stand still.

Tooting my own horn without shame ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŒˆ

Who is the most confident person you know? Guess my answerโ€ฆ The answer to this daily prompt question, asking, โ€˜who is the most confident person I know?โ€™ Well, I reckon, that despite having had the privilege of meeting some incredibly confident people in my lifetime, and taking inspiration from the their unwavering shine, I find … Continue reading Tooting my own horn without shame ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŒˆ

What a question! Why, Ive got 33 years worth of โ€˜strategiesโ€™, for those officially โ€˜diagnosedโ€™!

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings? What an apt daily question to ask, of someone who is officially โ€˜diagnosedโ€™ as having C-PTSD, BPD, Major Depressive Illness, recurring eating disorders and a history of drug and alcohol addiction! You asked for this! Prepare yourselves for some disturbing answers, and hopefully, a few … Continue reading What a question! Why, Ive got 33 years worth of โ€˜strategiesโ€™, for those officially โ€˜diagnosedโ€™!

In celebration of international womenโ€™s day

The woman I keep on becoming (we never cease to adapt, aspire, and amaze) Women: (We already know what Iโ€™m about to say, oh, we know) But yโ€™know, in light of #internationalwomenโ€™sday 2024, Iโ€™ll say a few words. We are not just warriors, who have endured any such a Blitzkrieg- that purposefully, may cause a … Continue reading In celebration of international womenโ€™s day

Flashbacks come, and flashbacks go. Just like imprints, in the snow.

Poem โ€˜Imprints in the snowโ€™ A reflective piece inspired and triggered by experiences of C-PTSD, recovery, flashbacks, memories, and resilience.

Happy Motherโ€™s Day, I miss you ๐Ÿ’œ

Your Art and your afterlife Art that I drew and revived for you. I finished the Heart and butterflies drawing just seconds after midnight turned into Motherโ€™s Day. Thatโ€™s good timing for me, Iโ€™m usually not the timekeeping master of the century. But you knew that anywayโ€ฆ โค๏ธ Happy Motherโ€™s Day Mumโ€ฆ. I lit my … Continue reading Happy Motherโ€™s Day, I miss you ๐Ÿ’œ

Declaration against my defeat

No, โ€˜lifeโ€™, you still havenโ€™t stopped me. I might have been crushed, but I am a soul with the โ€˜chaos within to give rise to a dancing starโ€˜ to quote Nietzsche, and my energy, compressedโ€ฆ apparently (Iโ€™ve noticed, after observing the survival of my intact soul, after countless afflictions, and attacks, have tried to dim … Continue reading Declaration against my defeat

The warrior and the shield

Life can be tough, Iโ€™m sure we can all agree. Sure itโ€™s got its beautiful moments and even years, too, but we go through life, and despite individual differences in specific circumstances, we are on a battlefield, always. You canโ€™t afford to let your guard down, neither can you afford to simply hide away from … Continue reading The warrior and the shield