I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my โ€˜selfโ€™โ€ฆ

Am I โ€˜allowedโ€™ to post about NOT being ALRIGHT?๐Ÿ’™โ€˜Itโ€™s okay not to be okayโ€™๐Ÿ’š I wonder why I felt as though this even had to be considered a questionโ€ฆ self doubtโ€™s reliable โ€˜onโ€™ switch, quickly reminded me, as the champion over thinker I am, YES- clearly, self doubt might be pulling too many of my … Continue reading I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my โ€˜selfโ€™โ€ฆ

Unwitting descents causeโ€™ itโ€™s the law- A poem about incarceration and freedom

My own original Artwork- On Prison abolition- a poetic expression to share a viewpoint Throughout lifeโ€™s glinted Halls of Ivy Where sections, two, to section three Plus 136, 54, 52 Impound the freedom you thought you knew Primed in cuffs, restraints and force Unwilling, you face oppressionโ€™s source Extra curricular, custodial schools Unwitting descents, versed … Continue reading Unwitting descents causeโ€™ itโ€™s the law- A poem about incarceration and freedom

The birthday I never thought Iโ€™d live to see

Featured

http://www.facebook.com/share/1YdfoAejCw/ (Please use the link above to access more to my story and this whole story, and the fundraiser page itself!) Remarkably, I experienced my 35th birthday yesterday (16th June). Whilst many of us, including myself, face the natural shock and aversion to advancing digits of age, feeling โ€˜oldโ€™ and fretting naturally, for the cosmetic … Continue reading The birthday I never thought Iโ€™d live to see

Why the fuck did I think that!?

Welcome to the end of another pretty ruthless year; 2024. This time last year, I felt a great deal more celebratory in this day, the birthday of Jesus Christ- 25th Decemberโ€ฆ. Iโ€™d just been discharged from a hospital admission whereby my abusive ex partner had found out where I was feeling and staying in refuge … Continue reading Why the fuck did I think that!?

Absolutely no chance do I โ€˜trust my instinctsโ€™!

Do you trust your instincts? Would YOU trust this personโ€™s instincts!? Exactly as I thought- NOT A CHANCE ๐Ÿคฃ Seriously though, no I do not trust my instincts! I maybe once thought I could, and subsequently made the error of trusting them in years gone byโ€ฆ But if only you could see the train wreck … Continue reading Absolutely no chance do I โ€˜trust my instinctsโ€™!

Hard workโ€ฆ Not a headline many people will warm to!

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled? *First of all- Credit for the featured image set for this post goes to the wonderfully talented Artist Ella Dorson, who created the portrait of myself and my dog, blended spoken words exchanged between us beautifully, and used her Artwork of me alongside and part … Continue reading Hard workโ€ฆ Not a headline many people will warm to!

The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they โ€˜fadeโ€™โ€ฆ My song which was not โ€˜my lastโ€™ after all.

One of the most heartbreaking songs I ever improvised, singing out what I genuinely believed to be my last goodbyes, feeling lost to the dark and dreadful lure of suicide, I found myself singing this song because I couldnโ€™t say the words โ€˜helpโ€™ any louder than I already had been doing for years in my … Continue reading The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they โ€˜fadeโ€™โ€ฆ My song which was not โ€˜my lastโ€™ after all.

Pressing the issue further

Mental Health No more tolerance for preventable mental health related deaths by Suicide, Homicide, Self Harm, lack of capacity to remain safe and/or protected by law and human rights to the dignity and equality of access to urgent and emergency care and intervention, to prevent tragedies- So many tragedies does our UK modern day era … Continue reading Pressing the issue further

Oh behold all the fucks I give!

vm.tiktok.com/ZGe7TMTpV/ I'm skint, I've ran out of me meds, the mental health services in this city (barring the charity Mind), have added even more ingredients to that C-PTSD diagnosis I've been gifted by life and Psychiatrists, the Bipolar shits and giggles that in all seriousness- CLEARLY cause problems and shenanigans... The perpetrators and the global … Continue reading Oh behold all the fucks I give!

A thank you to a previous team, at Mindโ€™s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives.

Iโ€™ve just had a really beneficial, possibly life altering conversation, with a volunteer who works for Hull Mindโ€™s โ€˜Crisis Padโ€™ service- which I probably wouldnโ€™t have had a need or chance to do if certain preliminary and pre-existing NHS services, tasked with the rather voluminous task of saving peopleโ€™s lives within crisis mental health servicesโ€ฆ … Continue reading A thank you to a previous team, at Mindโ€™s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives.

Ooooohhh what a question!

How would you describe yourself to someone who can't see you? The chance to reinvent a โ€˜descriptionโ€™ so suit some eyes that cannot see meโ€ฆ harder than it sounds, and you perhaps Iโ€™m not actually the one best qualified anywayโ€ฆ Wow, Iโ€™m trying to not overthink this or overanalyse the variables which I always feel … Continue reading Ooooohhh what a question!

Check this person out, she is amazing, in pictures and for real! โฌ‡๏ธ๐Ÿ’œ

http://www.instagram.com/p/Cz9LWK3Mzmm/ โฌ†๏ธโฌ†๏ธ๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŽต Check out the Instagram page of the official above link, it is amazing, the creator talks about struggles with mental health, Bipolar Disorder more specifically, what it's like to live with them, in perfect but simple little images, and somehow manages to capture both the exact means of expressing something myself, and I'm … Continue reading Check this person out, she is amazing, in pictures and for real! โฌ‡๏ธ๐Ÿ’œ

Bipolar โ€˜tomorrowsโ€™

Hypermanic polar opposites, Bipolar Disorder stirring and bubbling in a broth combined with C-PTSD and a sprinkle of ADHDโ€ฆ Yeah so apparently, thatโ€™s me๐Ÿซจ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ๐Ÿซฃ Not that my coffee table resembles any such a diagnosis at all! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿซฃ๐ŸŽต FYI- It took me fucking HOURS to concentrate enough to write this, so do me a favour and … Continue reading Bipolar โ€˜tomorrowsโ€™

Hilarious repost: When you ring the crisis team UK

POV: When you ring the crisis team Added original art by self which fits quite well with the above video: See my Gallery Page for more! Absolutely correct!

A warningโ€ฆ

You wonโ€™t know until you know, or Iโ€™ve died trying to achieve an end which is for the greater good, particularly in terms of politics, philosophy, and end to globalised corruption, and the primary concern of helping others- most specifically in the dual circumstances of addiction and mental health- but what Iโ€™m finding out is … Continue reading A warningโ€ฆ

How about this for a bit of raw reality, shed a little light on โ€˜Great Britainโ€™sโ€™ plight

I donโ€™t care anymore about holding back, this is what โ€˜Great Britainโ€™ looks like today, I am not scared to share situations which others will resonate with, silently. Confession time: Yeah, cheers government emergency crisis loan, I actually ended up using the ยฃ348 you to pay for my suicide. Rather than use it for the … Continue reading How about this for a bit of raw reality, shed a little light on โ€˜Great Britainโ€™sโ€™ plight

This soul has seen enough. This time, I am saying my final goodbye.

The end of the road, a draft I have published too soon, about my mental health journey, and the consequences of abominable mental health failure in Hull, UK. Suicide- Iโ€™m not the only one.

Hope to heal

Hope is beginning to whisper reassurances back into my earsโ€ฆ Having actually been listened to by a different psychiatrist, it was agreed I would go for a short term inpatient treatment stay at one of the non-assessment wards, Mill View this time, so totally different experience to where I have been before, and gone through … Continue reading Hope to heal

FYI- I ranted myself to life, reflecting on recent posts

We will see where this goes So yeah, you may have stumbled upon my posts which pertain to serious intent upon giving up. I still feel deeply afflicted by the pain of knowing I could have, and would have, fulfilled a potential, helped others through my lived experiences, go on to be one of the … Continue reading FYI- I ranted myself to life, reflecting on recent posts

I am a disgrace, and my field of fucks is barren. This is my Potential farewell.

Absolute TW on this one, donโ€™t read it if you think your biggest threat to life and stability might be dark humour which mentions matters of mental health specifically. Many people may well be outraged. But you canโ€™t say โ€˜outrageโ€™ without the inclusion of the โ€˜outโ€™, and so use that paradox to find your way … Continue reading I am a disgrace, and my field of fucks is barren. This is my Potential farewell.

Suddenly, crushed again. Mental health crisis UK- youโ€™re even killing me.

Literally tell the mental health professionals on a psychiatric ward, I need some help, Iโ€™m on the verge of my final goodbye letterโ€ฆ โ€˜alright then goodnight, out of the lounge, we have to clean nowโ€™โ€ฆ โ€˜Iโ€™m scared I might dieโ€™ โ€˜Alright Iโ€™ll help you unlock your room.โ€™ Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me? Iโ€™m not attention … Continue reading Suddenly, crushed again. Mental health crisis UK- youโ€™re even killing me.

Tooting my own horn without shame ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŒˆ

Who is the most confident person you know? Guess my answerโ€ฆ The answer to this daily prompt question, asking, โ€˜who is the most confident person I know?โ€™ Well, I reckon, that despite having had the privilege of meeting some incredibly confident people in my lifetime, and taking inspiration from the their unwavering shine, I find … Continue reading Tooting my own horn without shame ๐ŸŽบ๐ŸŒˆ

Flashbacks come, and flashbacks go. Just like imprints, in the snow.

Poem โ€˜Imprints in the snowโ€™ A reflective piece inspired and triggered by experiences of C-PTSD, recovery, flashbacks, memories, and resilience.

Oh I Love this for a daily Question!

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain. Say what? โ€˜So, I must ask you Ellie, how come someone whoโ€™s got a University Degree and a brain like yours ended up an addict whoโ€™s also been sectioned on a mental health ward?!โ€™ The question itself is easy and funny to answer if Iโ€™m … Continue reading Oh I Love this for a daily Question!

The warrior and the shield

Life can be tough, Iโ€™m sure we can all agree. Sure itโ€™s got its beautiful moments and even years, too, but we go through life, and despite individual differences in specific circumstances, we are on a battlefield, always. You canโ€™t afford to let your guard down, neither can you afford to simply hide away from … Continue reading The warrior and the shield

The best company

Who are your favorite people to be around? Answering todayโ€™s daily question, itโ€™s actually surprisingly easy for me to me answer, now that Iโ€™ve had enough years of life experience to decipher bad company (boring, judgemental, narcissistic, predatory, contemptuous, unremarkable, spiritless Tory voters) and confidently distinguish the differences which constitute favourable โ€˜companyโ€™ for me. My … Continue reading The best company

Valium be my Valentine

*probably shouldnโ€™t be using this GIF*TW? Too late I guess! โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ Haha oh the laughs to be had! How did you spend your Valentineโ€™s Day Ellie? Why, I got admitted to a psych ward! Awww, I love you too, plastic mattress, letโ€™s spend the night together! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚โค๏ธ Credit for song and lyrics to: Ava Max- … Continue reading Valium be my Valentine

To all the lost, the survivors, the families the friends. My mental health is a journey, I too must pursue.

I want to take your hand in mine, then together, try and pull us through. A photo taken when i travelled in Indiaโ€ฆ I think it fits well with the topic I realised itโ€™s going to take more than just written words and spoken testimonies, which match like mirrors, the same actions others have tried … Continue reading To all the lost, the survivors, the families the friends. My mental health is a journey, I too must pursue.

Takes from the psych ward- โ€˜Psychiatric stand upโ€™

Psychiatric stand up- how to wind up your 1:1 โ€˜constantsโ€™, and other ways of getting through the โ€˜madnessโ€™ of the โ€˜madhouseโ€™ to wind up your 1:1 โ€˜constantsโ€™, and other ways of getting through the โ€˜madnessโ€™ of the โ€˜madhouseโ€™ those who might need a laugh, whatever your circumstances- We all get one eventually! This post is … Continue reading Takes from the psych ward- โ€˜Psychiatric stand upโ€™

Re-blogging an upload in rebellion- Tales from the Psych Ward, how to find the comedy within

mindinmotion.home.blog/2023/12/20/tales-from-the-psych-ward-hilarious-ways-to-disturb-your-11-constant/ I don't know why the original publication of this post hasn't uploaded properly, but here is a link to access it! I assure you, it is worth the effort!