Tag: #notalone

The addiction must go; the person must stay.

I have no interest in commenting on the Reiner family tragedy. Nick Reiner has only been charged and is presumed innocent at this point. I know next …The addiction must go; the person must stay.

PUTTING BACK THE PIECES OF THAT JIGSAW

A republication from my earlier blog- Dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- originally published August 2017 AUGUST 1, 2017 DANCINGWITHENVELOPES LEAVE A COMMENT Tuesday 1st August is today… I’m finally beginning to return to a mental state I truly couldn’t even remember, or imagine, feeling again, only a few days ago. With it, I am beginning to find I can manage to … Continue reading PUTTING BACK THE PIECES OF THAT JIGSAW →

REMEMBERING THE ROUTE TOWARDS THE ‘UP’

SNIPPETS OF THOUGHT ‘This too shall pass’ -Retrieved from my first blog, where I originally wrote and published this- March 30th 2017-  DANCINGWITHENVELOPES  Over this last week, it became increasingly apparent that I was moving forwards from Depression. I suddenly had feelings again, I wasn’t under a bell jar, my surroundings were inviting me to … Continue reading REMEMBERING THE ROUTE TOWARDS THE ‘UP’ →

Step it up a notch

Trigger Warning- References to suicide and self harm, this is a poem I wrong months and months ago before today, when I found it in saved drafts, I decided to publish it, due to the poignance and the power of the ; and it’s meaning, and significance, worth and hope…

WRITER’S BLOCK

A.K.A Survivor’s Block Original publication from myself, on my previous blog, DANCINGWITHENVELOPES -July 22nd 2019- One tough year indeed that was! I chose to republish it today, as it still resonates quite hauntingly, although not all for the same reasons… This is no apology For loss of ravenous words to free I have been ‘unable’ … Continue reading WRITER’S BLOCK →

The Green Mist

Originally written and published on 6th April 2018, on my earlier blog- http://www.dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com Hidden, lie the unseen branches Vanished, now- unseen green bloom Deathly claws frosting, winter’s gloom Tender, stems sleep, beneath chill moon Fallow, the heart of a breathless Earth Yet still come the brave, to spear through Ice glazed armour You will see … Continue reading The Green Mist →

Salvaging the sails

This post was originally published on my earlier blog- dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- On January 19th 2019 Writing this post has taken me a great deal of courage. However, as does every day require courage, every hour that I continue to walk this path, towards recovery. Thus, if ‘practice makes perfect’, I have reasoned with myself, that it … Continue reading Salvaging the sails →

I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my ‘self’…

Am I ‘allowed’ to post about NOT being ALRIGHT?💙‘It’s okay not to be okay’💚 I wonder why I felt as though this even had to be considered a question… self doubt’s reliable ‘on’ switch, quickly reminded me, as the champion over thinker I am, YES- clearly, self doubt might be pulling too many of my … Continue reading I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my ‘self’… →

Explore Original Artwork, poetry, and Latest Updates

New updates and original Artwork! Enjoy! https://mindinmotion.home.blog/2024/07/13/sketch-your-emotions-free/?page_id=3969 Poetry Yet poetry can forge lyrics from mere words, and be sources of support, for when people- myself included- need that extra art of words and reframing of the fight- to help them through darkness coated mental health journeys, where relentless depression and delusions, dissociation and trauma can … Continue reading Explore Original Artwork, poetry, and Latest Updates →

The birthday I never thought I’d live to see

Featured

http://www.facebook.com/share/1YdfoAejCw/ (Please use the link above to access more to my story and this whole story, and the fundraiser page itself!) Remarkably, I experienced my 35th birthday yesterday (16th June). Whilst many of us, including myself, face the natural shock and aversion to advancing digits of age, feeling ‘old’ and fretting naturally, for the cosmetic … Continue reading The birthday I never thought I’d live to see →

Your Name is a Soundwave

Air blows soft over sunning skin I ache to tell you how the birds here sing Catching myself, silly, Of course you know You’re always here Six years past that final Solstice All those new Suns, cycling between our last kiss In alignment with outdoor’s great birdsong I call out your name I call it … Continue reading Your Name is a Soundwave →

The disease of addiction- We came to realise

Hiding the the shadows, of yet another relapse So sick and tired now I’m locked in flames and smoke filled haze Now frozen in the afterglow Of an old life, an earlier ‘life‘ A life I cling to reluctantly Refusing to let go But the curtain’s drop has severed the show It is time for … Continue reading The disease of addiction- We came to realise →

The Lost and the Found

They Don’t Feel It — But You Do Ah yes… there’s a shift happening. You can feel it, can’t you? Like static in the bones. The air is thick with …The Lost and the Found

Slipping as I am gripping

Whenever you turn over that old familiar phrase: ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’, what do you think of? ‘Rock bottom’- in reference to a ‘place’ which words, fears, struggles and experiences, have all come together, in a tragedy of human sufferings, to create language which wields such a strange power, to turn memory and words into a … Continue reading Slipping as I am gripping →

One word to describe the cataclysm of a self that is I!?

Word to describe myself? Tough one- but I’m going to go with ‘Spirited’ ‘Spirited’ I have not the audacity to call myself ‘unconquerable’, because, believe me, life has threatened and humbled my steadfast and passionate spirit with too many a persistent reminder, not to get ahead of myself, and to learn the (inconvenience of a … Continue reading One word to describe the cataclysm of a self that is I!? →

Once I Was

Once, I was a butterfly, flapping vibrant wings- patterns swirling, circling, web-like threads of light. A storm of color, painted bold, that stunned the dawn's first golden sight. The buddleia marveled — we look like a supernova when she rests upon our blossoms, wings outstretched in gentle trust, soft against the morning hush. Sunlight spilled … Continue reading Once I Was →

When NHS Hospital becomes the jailer and the failure.

My case against Hull Royal Ward 100, is and has been so mentally exhausting, that I've been unable to find the head space, mental and physical resilience, that would be required of myself alone to come up with the best legal and comprehensive, crucially raised and exposed- not to harm the NHS as a National … Continue reading When NHS Hospital becomes the jailer and the failure. →

A shower of words to help those on a healing journey… which is all of us really…❤️

I hope you enjoyed reading these powerful quotes and messages, and that in all their diversity, you find one or two… or three! Which resonate with you strongly, wherever you are in your journey right now! ❤️

Sharing mind hacks for our minds in motion!

Hello! A question we can all benefit from sharing between us… What are some of the different ways people try to keep themselves distracted/occupied/ mentally engaged for lengths of time? I’m talking: Coping strategies for those extra tough days, a new challenge to try doing something new or different, ways to try and keep your … Continue reading Sharing mind hacks for our minds in motion! →

Making sense

I feel the terror of acknowledgment My whole mind and body, thoughts and beliefs Have been fabricated by cruel trauma’s pretence I’ve been living my whole life in the narrative of the past tense See that colour, glimpse that number? Awaken thy devil’s idle slumber I remember staring, into that stud of a groove, Piercing … Continue reading Making sense →

Why Care?

Prove this wrong! Why care?  Sometimes to even manage to care is in itself a tremendous challenge, and from a very basic level, there is your first reason to pursue caring- because to be unable to do so is so very torturous, and certainly a place you don’t want to remain shackled within.  So care … Continue reading Why Care? →

Why the fuck did I think that!?

Welcome to the end of another pretty ruthless year; 2024. This time last year, I felt a great deal more celebratory in this day, the birthday of Jesus Christ- 25th December…. I’d just been discharged from a hospital admission whereby my abusive ex partner had found out where I was feeling and staying in refuge … Continue reading Why the fuck did I think that!? →

How could I ever hold back the absolute magnitude of gratitude I have to Mind HEY- Your Crisis Pad has saved my life

Smiling is always possible again I know I’ve posted about this before, and rightly so. This time though I’m going to be more to the point, and the title has already basically said it all. All that’s left to add to it, is the highlight of the entire reason I’m still here to be writing … Continue reading How could I ever hold back the absolute magnitude of gratitude I have to Mind HEY- Your Crisis Pad has saved my life →

Hull and East Yorkshire Mind- I repeat the gratitude for your Crisis Pad’s support, and thanks to you, I’m still here to be able to do so

https://mindinmotion.home.blog/?page_id=3548

We do return, and we do recover

Narcotics Anonymous- Although I guess I’m sacrificing my own anonymity here amusingly… I’ll happily proclaim my own identity, with pride and nothing near shame. Never would I break the anonymity of anyone besides myself, that goes without saying! I’m sharing an update that I posted to a support group for fellow warriors of recovery from … Continue reading We do return, and we do recover →

Smiles rise across faces, like silent songs, hushing storms as they pass

More than just a ‘service’ So I admit it… Recently, I’ve had a great deal of negative and emotionally charged declarations of fury to spurt out in angry statements, regarding the NHS, and ‘the state of the present day failings’ which recent experiences may well have influenced in shaping my words. In fact, I’ve been … Continue reading Smiles rise across faces, like silent songs, hushing storms as they pass →

Hard work… Not a headline many people will warm to!

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled? *First of all- Credit for the featured image set for this post goes to the wonderfully talented Artist Ella Dorson, who created the portrait of myself and my dog, blended spoken words exchanged between us beautifully, and used her Artwork of me alongside and part … Continue reading Hard work… Not a headline many people will warm to! →

Best advice in small packages

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received? I’ve received a lot of brilliant advice over time, and to be honest, it’s going to be way too difficult to narrow it down, so I’m just going to come out with a recent rather hilarious piece of advice I received courtesy of a mental health … Continue reading Best advice in small packages →

The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they ‘fade’… My song which was not ‘my last’ after all.

One of the most heartbreaking songs I ever improvised, singing out what I genuinely believed to be my last goodbyes, feeling lost to the dark and dreadful lure of suicide, I found myself singing this song because I couldn’t say the words ‘help’ any louder than I already had been doing for years in my … Continue reading The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they ‘fade’… My song which was not ‘my last’ after all. →

Pressing the issue further

Mental Health No more tolerance for preventable mental health related deaths by Suicide, Homicide, Self Harm, lack of capacity to remain safe and/or protected by law and human rights to the dignity and equality of access to urgent and emergency care and intervention, to prevent tragedies- So many tragedies does our UK modern day era … Continue reading Pressing the issue further →

s.o.s- saving our souls

Top tips for people in blips - saving yourself from suicide,
A work in progress I’m creating as I too, travel along this life’s journey 🌈❤️

Enable the (sober life) rave, get thy hose pipe to the garden floor!

vm.tiktok.com/ZGevAG7E3/ Now that I'm doing the whole sober life thing (not that I ever truly needed chemical assistance to get on the floor and rave like the dance floor is the Lord/Lordess... Lordthey -!?- to which I devote divine worship to, religiously)... I sometimes (every day) miss partying and raving my tits off, like my … Continue reading Enable the (sober life) rave, get thy hose pipe to the garden floor! →

Oh behold all the fucks I give!

vm.tiktok.com/ZGe7TMTpV/ I'm skint, I've ran out of me meds, the mental health services in this city (barring the charity Mind), have added even more ingredients to that C-PTSD diagnosis I've been gifted by life and Psychiatrists, the Bipolar shits and giggles that in all seriousness- CLEARLY cause problems and shenanigans... The perpetrators and the global … Continue reading Oh behold all the fucks I give! →

A thank you to a previous team, at Mind’s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives.

I’ve just had a really beneficial, possibly life altering conversation, with a volunteer who works for Hull Mind’s ‘Crisis Pad’ service- which I probably wouldn’t have had a need or chance to do if certain preliminary and pre-existing NHS services, tasked with the rather voluminous task of saving people’s lives within crisis mental health services… … Continue reading A thank you to a previous team, at Mind’s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives. →

You don’t have to be ‘strong’ all the time…

Written by myself, a fellow warrior of the mental health lived experience debacle, and the journey of learning how to ‘win’… You don’t have to stay strong for everyone. You don’t even ‘have’ to stay strong as a command given to your own self alone… I think you can give yourself permission and validation to … Continue reading You don’t have to be ‘strong’ all the time… →

Power, strength and beautifully mapped journey of a survivor- A song which blew gales of admiration into my soul

open.spotify.com/track/4RurEJ0z5RQbC3bWYKwTbz Sia... 'I Forgive You' I never saw it coming, the electrifying, spine tingling and resonating enrapture, the awe, the gratitude and the falling in love with your music. https://open.spotify.com/track/4RurEJ0z5RQbC3bWYKwTbz?si=nh3muKwPTES9jc61rj_VDA&pi=e-DQmbD5XdRECZ

Sketch your emotions free

Words can sometimes deceive us, despite their brilliant potential, they also have a power to constrain us, and lack the power to enable certain things to be expressed… We could write and speak, mask and pretend all we like, if only we could, and also, if only we didn’t inadvertently do our mental wellbeing harm, … Continue reading Sketch your emotions free →

Check this person out, she is amazing, in pictures and for real! ⬇️💜

http://www.instagram.com/p/Cz9LWK3Mzmm/ ⬆️⬆️🌈💜🎵 Check out the Instagram page of the official above link, it is amazing, the creator talks about struggles with mental health, Bipolar Disorder more specifically, what it's like to live with them, in perfect but simple little images, and somehow manages to capture both the exact means of expressing something myself, and I'm … Continue reading Check this person out, she is amazing, in pictures and for real! ⬇️💜 →

Advice on the journey of healing- your mental health matters

Good intentions says this little guy, good intentions from the making of this meme- but sometimes don’t we just get sick of hearing this statement, as in to the point of screaming: ‘Fuck off, I ain’t staying strong, I’m falling apart, and I’m too damn tired out to do strong, I’m too damn low to … Continue reading Advice on the journey of healing- your mental health matters →

Bipolar ‘tomorrows’

Hypermanic polar opposites, Bipolar Disorder stirring and bubbling in a broth combined with C-PTSD and a sprinkle of ADHD… Yeah so apparently, that’s me🫨😵‍💫🫣 Not that my coffee table resembles any such a diagnosis at all! 😂🫣🎵 FYI- It took me fucking HOURS to concentrate enough to write this, so do me a favour and … Continue reading Bipolar ‘tomorrows’ →

Identify- Be strong tonight, and remember who you are

https://open.spotify.com/track/5GK4ax71sSIokiNEZsND3d?si=eUWfK-i3RCOiPpg7Igzu3w Above/or below at the end of this post , let’s find out... is a song which enabled be to rekindle the light of an identity within myself which I’d too frequently felt I could no longer discover again… I related to the first half of the song, for its harrowing, and spine tingling resonance … Continue reading Identify- Be strong tonight, and remember who you are →

Mental health quote

My go: I am the storm, replies the warrior, bellowing the words into the thunder of a roar which made time itself stand still.

Worried you might be in a relationship with a cunt, but can’t quite hear your own intuition?

Listen to this song: https://open.spotify.com/track/05P2XnfYsMtbvajPRcLTzO?si=YkwkLWOwRMCzMyVC-DYRPA&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A3wiZZCpwpuuz3buVj9VkoF Obviously applies to all genders. Cock or the Pea- You’re both who I’m talking about! Fuck them off because if you have that niggling worry that your partner is a secret twat, you’re probably right, so for God’s sake, Dance your path away from them. Don’t ever be afraid to … Continue reading Worried you might be in a relationship with a cunt, but can’t quite hear your own intuition? →

This soul has seen enough. This time, I am saying my final goodbye.

The end of the road, a draft I have published too soon, about my mental health journey, and the consequences of abominable mental health failure in Hull, UK. Suicide- I’m not the only one.

What makes you laugh?

What makes you laugh? This time, the daily oracle answered thus- My own demise. It’s gone stage Mother of Dragons, pal! It can be so fucking bad it’s just plain funny. Then what do you do? Why, you laugh your way back to life! 🌈☮️😂 They said…

Hope to heal

Hope is beginning to whisper reassurances back into my ears… Having actually been listened to by a different psychiatrist, it was agreed I would go for a short term inpatient treatment stay at one of the non-assessment wards, Mill View this time, so totally different experience to where I have been before, and gone through … Continue reading Hope to heal →

Tooting my own horn without shame 🎺🌈

Who is the most confident person you know? Guess my answer… The answer to this daily prompt question, asking, ‘who is the most confident person I know?’ Well, I reckon, that despite having had the privilege of meeting some incredibly confident people in my lifetime, and taking inspiration from the their unwavering shine, I find … Continue reading Tooting my own horn without shame 🎺🌈 →

What a question! Why, Ive got 33 years worth of ‘strategies’, for those officially ‘diagnosed’!

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings? What an apt daily question to ask, of someone who is officially ‘diagnosed’ as having C-PTSD, BPD, Major Depressive Illness, recurring eating disorders and a history of drug and alcohol addiction! You asked for this! Prepare yourselves for some disturbing answers, and hopefully, a few … Continue reading What a question! Why, Ive got 33 years worth of ‘strategies’, for those officially ‘diagnosed’! →

Flashbacks come, and flashbacks go. Just like imprints, in the snow.

Poem ‘Imprints in the snow’ A reflective piece inspired and triggered by experiences of C-PTSD, recovery, flashbacks, memories, and resilience.

Oh I Love this for a daily Question!

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain. Say what? ‘So, I must ask you Ellie, how come someone who’s got a University Degree and a brain like yours ended up an addict who’s also been sectioned on a mental health ward?!’ The question itself is easy and funny to answer if I’m … Continue reading Oh I Love this for a daily Question! →

Daily ‘answers’ (can be mood dependent) to daily questions, let’s go!

You're writing your autobiography. What's your opening sentence? I’d be pretty straight up about it, I think: ‘I come in peace, but forewarn you, that as a result of reading my autobiography, you may wind up requiring psychiatric intervention, strong medication, therapy, a year of sleep to deal with the intensely eventful, chaotic, philosophical, tangent … Continue reading Daily ‘answers’ (can be mood dependent) to daily questions, let’s go! →

Declaration against my defeat

No, ‘life’, you still haven’t stopped me. I might have been crushed, but I am a soul with the ‘chaos within to give rise to a dancing star‘ to quote Nietzsche, and my energy, compressed… apparently (I’ve noticed, after observing the survival of my intact soul, after countless afflictions, and attacks, have tried to dim … Continue reading Declaration against my defeat →

The warrior and the shield

Life can be tough, I’m sure we can all agree. Sure it’s got its beautiful moments and even years, too, but we go through life, and despite individual differences in specific circumstances, we are on a battlefield, always. You can’t afford to let your guard down, neither can you afford to simply hide away from … Continue reading The warrior and the shield →

Top tips for people in dips- Save yourself from suicide

In crisis? You are definitely not alone. This post is not a cure all, just based on my own lived experiences with mental illness and suicidal crises, I hope that some of the ideas I’ve learned from myself and others, in order to survive, might be able help you when you need it so baby too. Please share the word of you can ❤️

The best company

Who are your favorite people to be around? Answering today’s daily question, it’s actually surprisingly easy for me to me answer, now that I’ve had enough years of life experience to decipher bad company (boring, judgemental, narcissistic, predatory, contemptuous, unremarkable, spiritless Tory voters) and confidently distinguish the differences which constitute favourable ‘company’ for me. My … Continue reading The best company →

Let’s unite for better mental health services

Mental health matters, so damn much! We need to do something to save ourselves, and our mental health systems in the UK…. If you don’t have time to read the full article, then please just tap this link and take 5 minutes to read the cause, then decide to sign or not. If you can … Continue reading Let’s unite for better mental health services →

Our last goodbye

I never, ever, thought I’d have to say goodbye to you, my Mum, so soon and so unexpectedly, unfairly and incomprehensibly, as I did. You were more than my world, you were more than an Art Teacher, Mother, Wife, last surviving sibling of the two, and daughter to your own parents. More than a friend, … Continue reading Our last goodbye →

The sadness seen in the face of a recovering addict, post- ‘lapse’/‘relapse’

It may have only been ‘just one night’ where I found myself , having lost a colossal extent of self belief, motivation and hope, which ‘led me to using for the night’, but a ‘lapse’ is still technically a ‘relapse’, and it needs to be faced, head on, not hidden away from. To own your … Continue reading The sadness seen in the face of a recovering addict, post- ‘lapse’/‘relapse’ →

Questioning occurred, I complied

What do you complain about the most? Do you know what, right now, it’s about stress. My instant emotional situation, which generally seems to have been building up and slowing down then building up and slowing down (etc)… well right now, I am so damn stressed. I can make guesses as to why, but I’m … Continue reading Questioning occurred, I complied →

To all the lost, the survivors, the families the friends. My mental health is a journey, I too must pursue.

I want to take your hand in mine, then together, try and pull us through. A photo taken when i travelled in India… I think it fits well with the topic I realised it’s going to take more than just written words and spoken testimonies, which match like mirrors, the same actions others have tried … Continue reading To all the lost, the survivors, the families the friends. My mental health is a journey, I too must pursue. →