Potion for your Mind’s Motion- Art, Comedy, Mental Health, Imperfect poems, Lived Experience Stories, Advice (good and bad)
A republication from my earlier blog- Dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- originally published August 2017 AUGUST 1, 2017 DANCINGWITHENVELOPES LEAVE A COMMENT Tuesday 1st August is today… I’m finally beginning to return to a mental state I truly couldn’t even remember, or imagine, feeling again, only a few days ago. With it, I am beginning to find I can manage to … Continue reading PUTTING BACK THE PIECES OF THAT JIGSAW
SNIPPETS OF THOUGHT ‘This too shall pass’ -Retrieved from my first blog, where I originally wrote and published this- March 30th 2017- DANCINGWITHENVELOPES Over this last week, it became increasingly apparent that I was moving forwards from Depression. I suddenly had feelings again, I wasn’t under a bell jar, my surroundings were inviting me to … Continue reading REMEMBERING THE ROUTE TOWARDS THE ‘UP’
Trigger Warning- References to suicide and self harm, this is a poem I wrong months and months ago before today, when I found it in saved drafts, I decided to publish it, due to the poignance and the power of the ; and it’s meaning, and significance, worth and hope…
A.K.A Survivor’s Block Original publication from myself, on my previous blog, DANCINGWITHENVELOPES -July 22nd 2019- One tough year indeed that was! I chose to republish it today, as it still resonates quite hauntingly, although not all for the same reasons… This is no apology For loss of ravenous words to free I have been ‘unable’ … Continue reading WRITER’S BLOCK
This post was written by myself, and published first on my first ever blog- http://www.dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- on 10th August 2017. Introduction: Reflective insights into various journaled moments throughout different periods of lived experience, across the years, may be utilised via a type of spoken word time travel, to reveal truth and experience still very much valid … Continue reading Garden for your thoughts…
This post was originally published on my earlier blog- dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- On January 19th 2019 Writing this post has taken me a great deal of courage. However, as does every day require courage, every hour that I continue to walk this path, towards recovery. Thus, if ‘practice makes perfect’, I have reasoned with myself, that it … Continue reading Salvaging the sails
Am I ‘allowed’ to post about NOT being ALRIGHT?💙‘It’s okay not to be okay’💚 I wonder why I felt as though this even had to be considered a question… self doubt’s reliable ‘on’ switch, quickly reminded me, as the champion over thinker I am, YES- clearly, self doubt might be pulling too many of my … Continue reading I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my ‘self’…
New updates and original Artwork! Enjoy! https://mindinmotion.home.blog/2024/07/13/sketch-your-emotions-free/?page_id=3969 Poetry Yet poetry can forge lyrics from mere words, and be sources of support, for when people- myself included- need that extra art of words and reframing of the fight- to help them through darkness coated mental health journeys, where relentless depression and delusions, dissociation and trauma can … Continue reading Explore Original Artwork, poetry, and Latest Updates
Air blows soft over sunning skin I ache to tell you how the birds here sing Catching myself, silly, Of course you know You’re always here Six years past that final Solstice All those new Suns, cycling between our last kiss In alignment with outdoor’s great birdsong I call out your name I call it … Continue reading Your Name is a Soundwave
Hiding the the shadows, of yet another relapse So sick and tired now I’m locked in flames and smoke filled haze Now frozen in the afterglow Of an old life, an earlier ‘life‘ A life I cling to reluctantly Refusing to let go But the curtain’s drop has severed the show It is time for … Continue reading The disease of addiction- We came to realise
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals? Sorry for the lack of divinity or sophistication which I fail today to apply to this daily question- Oh shock horror- we noticed life was pretty brutal and reacted accordingly, send down your miracles then. The ‘plethora of the vocab’ is … Continue reading Daily prompt- easy to answer !
You ready? My Artwork here inspired by my late Mother Shân Neves… I chose it because it’s message and it’s theme fit my words in this creative, dark, alluring, artistic, fateful and literally- My work, and life, be a metamorphoses in progress… A snippet: ‘You, madame, your hands, with their white fair curling fingers, which … Continue reading I dared myself to write, in the style of a Shakespearean Quill
Whenever you turn over that old familiar phrase: ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’, what do you think of? ‘Rock bottom’- in reference to a ‘place’ which words, fears, struggles and experiences, have all come together, in a tragedy of human sufferings, to create language which wields such a strange power, to turn memory and words into a … Continue reading Slipping as I am gripping
“Mind in Motion” When shadows rise and silence calls, When hope feels lost behind these walls, Let not your heart give in to fear, For even now, the light is near. The road may twist, the path may break, Yet every step is one we take. No fall too great, no night too long, We … Continue reading Mind In Motion
There is no such thing as a mistake in Art. Creativity to the Mind is like the fallen Acorn which dropped into dark Earth below, only to become light and majesty in the growth of a new Oak Tree. Optimism in the Oak Tree’s revival ‘Self’- The Colourstorm in motion Window to the Soul Cyclical … Continue reading Sketches from my mind’s edges: Explore snippets of my original Artwork- simply click ‘menu’ button at the top of page to scroll down and select page 🎨🌈🙃🐦⬛
Hello! A question we can all benefit from sharing between us… What are some of the different ways people try to keep themselves distracted/occupied/ mentally engaged for lengths of time? I’m talking: Coping strategies for those extra tough days, a new challenge to try doing something new or different, ways to try and keep your … Continue reading Sharing mind hacks for our minds in motion!
I feel the terror of acknowledgment My whole mind and body, thoughts and beliefs Have been fabricated by cruel trauma’s pretence I’ve been living my whole life in the narrative of the past tense See that colour, glimpse that number? Awaken thy devil’s idle slumber I remember staring, into that stud of a groove, Piercing … Continue reading Making sense
If you want to re-connect with your roots, re-acquaint yourself with nature, and generally remind yourself about what it means to live, to be human (and therefore crafty, inquisitive, ambitious), then I strongly recommend you take some time to just have a little dig. Uproot some Dandelions, or a bit of your lawn. Expose the soil, … Continue reading Put your hands back in the Earth
I creep into a tangle Mildly plucked, I’ve spun forsooth, a silvered web Draped in need, Dressed in lust, and endeavour Sparkling eyes. Look how she tries, endlessly tries Let’s douse oneself, Submerge ourselves In dancing, we’re disguised from Expectation’s hollow cries I once hopped here, swirled in spiral Trickled like a breeze Upon an … Continue reading Spinning in spiral
Snippets of snoppits- a whip-de-wewoo A little love from one’s aspiring. Psychedelic self ❤️ A work in progress… Suggestions welcome! Auricular acupuncture steampunk twist ear TBC…
Prove this wrong! Why care? Sometimes to even manage to care is in itself a tremendous challenge, and from a very basic level, there is your first reason to pursue caring- because to be unable to do so is so very torturous, and certainly a place you don’t want to remain shackled within. So care … Continue reading Why Care?
Welcome to the end of another pretty ruthless year; 2024. This time last year, I felt a great deal more celebratory in this day, the birthday of Jesus Christ- 25th December…. I’d just been discharged from a hospital admission whereby my abusive ex partner had found out where I was feeling and staying in refuge … Continue reading Why the fuck did I think that!?
Smiling is always possible again I know I’ve posted about this before, and rightly so. This time though I’m going to be more to the point, and the title has already basically said it all. All that’s left to add to it, is the highlight of the entire reason I’m still here to be writing … Continue reading How could I ever hold back the absolute magnitude of gratitude I have to Mind HEY- Your Crisis Pad has saved my life
Narcotics Anonymous- Although I guess I’m sacrificing my own anonymity here amusingly… I’ll happily proclaim my own identity, with pride and nothing near shame. Never would I break the anonymity of anyone besides myself, that goes without saying! I’m sharing an update that I posted to a support group for fellow warriors of recovery from … Continue reading We do return, and we do recover
Do you trust your instincts? Would YOU trust this person’s instincts!? Exactly as I thought- NOT A CHANCE 🤣 Seriously though, no I do not trust my instincts! I maybe once thought I could, and subsequently made the error of trusting them in years gone by… But if only you could see the train wreck … Continue reading Absolutely no chance do I ‘trust my instincts’!
One of the most heartbreaking songs I ever improvised, singing out what I genuinely believed to be my last goodbyes, feeling lost to the dark and dreadful lure of suicide, I found myself singing this song because I couldn’t say the words ‘help’ any louder than I already had been doing for years in my … Continue reading The Echoes- Sounds that in fact always reverberate, even if to human ears they ‘fade’… My song which was not ‘my last’ after all.
It’s supposed to be erratic dark imperfect and a touch off key. Silent imperfection of inexpressible unheard sadness grief desolation and exile. It’s not meant to be a pleasant sounding piece. It’s repetitive, grim, off key, imperfect and broken- the wavering harmony of a voice or melody chained off from help being heard or able … Continue reading Faltering, unpleasant and off key improv- symbolic and telling of the impact radio silence and isolation with zero voice or support from mental health or other services, hear how dreadful I try to express. Now my mind is decaying.
vm.tiktok.com/ZGe7TMTpV/ I'm skint, I've ran out of me meds, the mental health services in this city (barring the charity Mind), have added even more ingredients to that C-PTSD diagnosis I've been gifted by life and Psychiatrists, the Bipolar shits and giggles that in all seriousness- CLEARLY cause problems and shenanigans... The perpetrators and the global … Continue reading Oh behold all the fucks I give!
I’ve just had a really beneficial, possibly life altering conversation, with a volunteer who works for Hull Mind’s ‘Crisis Pad’ service- which I probably wouldn’t have had a need or chance to do if certain preliminary and pre-existing NHS services, tasked with the rather voluminous task of saving people’s lives within crisis mental health services… … Continue reading A thank you to a previous team, at Mind’s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives.
How would you describe yourself to someone who can't see you? The chance to reinvent a ‘description’ so suit some eyes that cannot see me… harder than it sounds, and you perhaps I’m not actually the one best qualified anyway… Wow, I’m trying to not overthink this or overanalyse the variables which I always feel … Continue reading Ooooohhh what a question!
Written by myself, a fellow warrior of the mental health lived experience debacle, and the journey of learning how to ‘win’… You don’t have to stay strong for everyone. You don’t even ‘have’ to stay strong as a command given to your own self alone… I think you can give yourself permission and validation to … Continue reading You don’t have to be ‘strong’ all the time…
open.spotify.com/track/4RurEJ0z5RQbC3bWYKwTbz Sia... 'I Forgive You' I never saw it coming, the electrifying, spine tingling and resonating enrapture, the awe, the gratitude and the falling in love with your music. https://open.spotify.com/track/4RurEJ0z5RQbC3bWYKwTbz?si=nh3muKwPTES9jc61rj_VDA&pi=e-DQmbD5XdRECZ
Which activities make you lose track of time? What a question! 😂 I can’t tell whether it’s the track of time making me lose the activities or the activities making me lose track of time!? Because believe me, they all seem to! It’s been suggested many times I get assessed for ADHD… I have tried, … Continue reading Does ADHD class as an ‘activity’!?
Words can sometimes deceive us, despite their brilliant potential, they also have a power to constrain us, and lack the power to enable certain things to be expressed… We could write and speak, mask and pretend all we like, if only we could, and also, if only we didn’t inadvertently do our mental wellbeing harm, … Continue reading Sketch your emotions free
Daily prompt- What gets better with age? My blunt answer…
‘Ellie, when I woke up and tripped over you on the floor next to the fireplace, you looked like you’d been fucked in a skip!’ -Were the words of wisdom, as the person I could swear had definitely passed out after being FAR more wrecked than I myself had wound up, the night before. Indeed, … Continue reading Throwback quotes of funnier days
A short read reflecting on the gratitude I have for everything my late mother gave me while she was here, and after…
Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life. Throughout life so far, I’ve tended to notice an unexpected trend, which has made itself known to me, despite extenuated hype surrounding the ‘thing’ in question, it really does seem to be the case that the ‘bigger’ the thing it is, in life, … Continue reading Love for the little things in life- love your pencil ❤️🎨
How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen? Lush memories… Bath bomb Art, courtesy of Lush, and back when I could afford any such article 🤣 To answer today’s daily prompt of a question, I answered thus: ‘How do you know when to unplug?’ Why, When … Continue reading I’m not really in a serious mood, so…
Good intentions says this little guy, good intentions from the making of this meme- but sometimes don’t we just get sick of hearing this statement, as in to the point of screaming: ‘Fuck off, I ain’t staying strong, I’m falling apart, and I’m too damn tired out to do strong, I’m too damn low to … Continue reading Advice on the journey of healing- your mental health matters
Hypermanic polar opposites, Bipolar Disorder stirring and bubbling in a broth combined with C-PTSD and a sprinkle of ADHD… Yeah so apparently, that’s me🫨😵💫🫣 Not that my coffee table resembles any such a diagnosis at all! 😂🫣🎵 FYI- It took me fucking HOURS to concentrate enough to write this, so do me a favour and … Continue reading Bipolar ‘tomorrows’
*Delightful TW* (Because you have to add those two letters of the alphabet to anything real these days, don't you?) Credit to JoePolitics- Hilarious YouTube Video Link below: ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Fucking hilarious watch- JoePolitics Because I got High YouTube ⬆️⬆️⬆️ My own original comedy Artwork which fits this so perfectly The above comedy art sketch is … Continue reading You don’t know how much I love how hilarious this is- Credit to JoePolitics- You utter legend!
POV: When you ring the crisis team Added original art by self which fits quite well with the above video: See my Gallery Page for more! Absolutely correct!
https://open.spotify.com/track/5GK4ax71sSIokiNEZsND3d?si=eUWfK-i3RCOiPpg7Igzu3w Above/or below at the end of this post , let’s find out... is a song which enabled be to rekindle the light of an identity within myself which I’d too frequently felt I could no longer discover again… I related to the first half of the song, for its harrowing, and spine tingling resonance … Continue reading Identify- Be strong tonight, and remember who you are
When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up? My child self, not yet afflicted, totally blissfully unaware of anything other than the freedom to dream I can literally visualise the scenery and the image etched in my memory, transporting me back in time instantly, to answer this. In the … Continue reading Aspirations of my 5 year old self
No ordinary scene was visited this day. At last, and without any inch of hesitation stopping me from my march towards this destination, I adamantly and resolutely walked through those hospital grounds, nothing and nobody would have been able to stop me. The Queens building, Castle Hill Hospital. Oncology, breast care. It did not take … Continue reading Visiting your spirit, alone. My return to the Queens building of Castle Hill Hospital, where the lonely suitcase still haunts me.
What makes you laugh? This time, the daily oracle answered thus- My own demise. It’s gone stage Mother of Dragons, pal! It can be so fucking bad it’s just plain funny. Then what do you do? Why, you laugh your way back to life! 🌈☮️😂 They said…
Hope is beginning to whisper reassurances back into my ears… Having actually been listened to by a different psychiatrist, it was agreed I would go for a short term inpatient treatment stay at one of the non-assessment wards, Mill View this time, so totally different experience to where I have been before, and gone through … Continue reading Hope to heal
What do you wish you could do more every day? Honestly? I’d have to go with the answer indulging in the daily indulgence of pure Ecstasy every day. I do have other less controversial answers, but I’m going with this honest one, because, you know, Ecstasy! Yay I’m talking pure 90s rave era level, of … Continue reading Things I shouldn’t say
We will see where this goes So yeah, you may have stumbled upon my posts which pertain to serious intent upon giving up. I still feel deeply afflicted by the pain of knowing I could have, and would have, fulfilled a potential, helped others through my lived experiences, go on to be one of the … Continue reading FYI- I ranted myself to life, reflecting on recent posts
What is one word that describes you? What and who the hell am I? My word: ‘Unwavering’ Only because it sounds more poetic and complimentary than ‘stubborn’, ‘defiant’, ‘relentless’, ‘disobedient’, words which I agree do fit my personality, but were usually used in ‘bollockings’ through school years, professional years, and even just generally lost but … Continue reading ‘Ellieism’- One word to describe me, the Ellie who requires her own ‘ism’
Absolute TW on this one, don’t read it if you think your biggest threat to life and stability might be dark humour which mentions matters of mental health specifically. Many people may well be outraged. But you can’t say ‘outrage’ without the inclusion of the ‘out’, and so use that paradox to find your way … Continue reading I am a disgrace, and my field of fucks is barren. This is my Potential farewell.
Literally tell the mental health professionals on a psychiatric ward, I need some help, I’m on the verge of my final goodbye letter… ‘alright then goodnight, out of the lounge, we have to clean now’… ‘I’m scared I might die’ ‘Alright I’ll help you unlock your room.’ Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me? I’m not attention … Continue reading Suddenly, crushed again. Mental health crisis UK- you’re even killing me.
Who is the most confident person you know? Guess my answer… The answer to this daily prompt question, asking, ‘who is the most confident person I know?’ Well, I reckon, that despite having had the privilege of meeting some incredibly confident people in my lifetime, and taking inspiration from the their unwavering shine, I find … Continue reading Tooting my own horn without shame 🎺🌈
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings? What an apt daily question to ask, of someone who is officially ‘diagnosed’ as having C-PTSD, BPD, Major Depressive Illness, recurring eating disorders and a history of drug and alcohol addiction! You asked for this! Prepare yourselves for some disturbing answers, and hopefully, a few … Continue reading What a question! Why, Ive got 33 years worth of ‘strategies’, for those officially ‘diagnosed’!
Poem ‘Imprints in the snow’ A reflective piece inspired and triggered by experiences of C-PTSD, recovery, flashbacks, memories, and resilience.
What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain. Say what? ‘So, I must ask you Ellie, how come someone who’s got a University Degree and a brain like yours ended up an addict who’s also been sectioned on a mental health ward?!’ The question itself is easy and funny to answer if I’m … Continue reading Oh I Love this for a daily Question!
You're writing your autobiography. What's your opening sentence? I’d be pretty straight up about it, I think: ‘I come in peace, but forewarn you, that as a result of reading my autobiography, you may wind up requiring psychiatric intervention, strong medication, therapy, a year of sleep to deal with the intensely eventful, chaotic, philosophical, tangent … Continue reading Daily ‘answers’ (can be mood dependent) to daily questions, let’s go!
No, ‘life’, you still haven’t stopped me. I might have been crushed, but I am a soul with the ‘chaos within to give rise to a dancing star‘ to quote Nietzsche, and my energy, compressed… apparently (I’ve noticed, after observing the survival of my intact soul, after countless afflictions, and attacks, have tried to dim … Continue reading Declaration against my defeat
Life can be tough, I’m sure we can all agree. Sure it’s got its beautiful moments and even years, too, but we go through life, and despite individual differences in specific circumstances, we are on a battlefield, always. You can’t afford to let your guard down, neither can you afford to simply hide away from … Continue reading The warrior and the shield
Writing Fanfiction in the worlds of Tolkien and Beyond!
Simple words about a complex life.
Growing Through Books, Defying Social Norms
A Journey of Mental Health Recovery
Writing Sparkle Books
Erotic stories for you
Curiosity is a Mental Wanderlust, and Mind Wandering is the process of connecting loose strings of creative thought.
Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh
Our thoughts define us, so let's focus on a few.
Kinda a poet. Kinda a writer. But not really...
writer. rythmn seeker.
Chaos may Surround you, but Clarity is your Breakthrough.
"Most all of us are mad round here..."
Every step for a brighter path
Mind-in-motion 