Potion for your Mind’s Motion- Art, Comedy, Mental Health, Imperfect poems, Lived Experience Stories, Advice (good and bad)
A republication from my earlier blog- Dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- originally published August 2017 AUGUST 1, 2017 DANCINGWITHENVELOPES LEAVE A COMMENT Tuesday 1st August is today… I’m finally beginning to return to a mental state I truly couldn’t even remember, or imagine, feeling again, only a few days ago. With it, I am beginning to find I can manage to … Continue reading PUTTING BACK THE PIECES OF THAT JIGSAW
SNIPPETS OF THOUGHT ‘This too shall pass’ -Retrieved from my first blog, where I originally wrote and published this- March 30th 2017- DANCINGWITHENVELOPES Over this last week, it became increasingly apparent that I was moving forwards from Depression. I suddenly had feelings again, I wasn’t under a bell jar, my surroundings were inviting me to … Continue reading REMEMBERING THE ROUTE TOWARDS THE ‘UP’
Trigger Warning- References to suicide and self harm, this is a poem I wrong months and months ago before today, when I found it in saved drafts, I decided to publish it, due to the poignance and the power of the ; and it’s meaning, and significance, worth and hope…
This post was written by myself, and published first on my first ever blog- http://www.dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- on 10th August 2017. Introduction: Reflective insights into various journaled moments throughout different periods of lived experience, across the years, may be utilised via a type of spoken word time travel, to reveal truth and experience still very much valid … Continue reading Garden for your thoughts…
Originally written and published on 6th April 2018, on my earlier blog- http://www.dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com Hidden, lie the unseen branches Vanished, now- unseen green bloom Deathly claws frosting, winter’s gloom Tender, stems sleep, beneath chill moon Fallow, the heart of a breathless Earth Yet still come the brave, to spear through Ice glazed armour You will see … Continue reading The Green Mist
This post was originally published on my earlier blog- dancingwithenvelopes.wordpress.com- On January 19th 2019 Writing this post has taken me a great deal of courage. However, as does every day require courage, every hour that I continue to walk this path, towards recovery. Thus, if ‘practice makes perfect’, I have reasoned with myself, that it … Continue reading Salvaging the sails
Am I ‘allowed’ to post about NOT being ALRIGHT?💙‘It’s okay not to be okay’💚 I wonder why I felt as though this even had to be considered a question… self doubt’s reliable ‘on’ switch, quickly reminded me, as the champion over thinker I am, YES- clearly, self doubt might be pulling too many of my … Continue reading I found myself issuing unnerving questioning to my ‘self’…
My own original Artwork- On Prison abolition- a poetic expression to share a viewpoint Throughout life’s glinted Halls of Ivy Where sections, two, to section three Plus 136, 54, 52 Impound the freedom you thought you knew Primed in cuffs, restraints and force Unwilling, you face oppression’s source Extra curricular, custodial schools Unwitting descents, versed … Continue reading Unwitting descents cause’ it’s the law- A poem about incarceration and freedom
http://www.facebook.com/share/1YdfoAejCw/ (Please use the link above to access more to my story and this whole story, and the fundraiser page itself!) Remarkably, I experienced my 35th birthday yesterday (16th June). Whilst many of us, including myself, face the natural shock and aversion to advancing digits of age, feeling ‘old’ and fretting naturally, for the cosmetic … Continue reading The birthday I never thought I’d live to see
Hiding the the shadows, of yet another relapse So sick and tired now I’m locked in flames and smoke filled haze Now frozen in the afterglow Of an old life, an earlier ‘life‘ A life I cling to reluctantly Refusing to let go But the curtain’s drop has severed the show It is time for … Continue reading The disease of addiction- We came to realise
Do you practice religion? No Why? Because I am Spiritual There’s a reason behind everything. If you can listen to me, I can elaborate; Reasons aplenty, so people respond and react to certain words and ‘definitions’, because the truth is- Language seems to be one, of many, assets which humans do possess , which enable … Continue reading I practice Spirituality, not religion 🌲
Whenever you turn over that old familiar phrase: ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’, what do you think of? ‘Rock bottom’- in reference to a ‘place’ which words, fears, struggles and experiences, have all come together, in a tragedy of human sufferings, to create language which wields such a strange power, to turn memory and words into a … Continue reading Slipping as I am gripping
“Mind in Motion” When shadows rise and silence calls, When hope feels lost behind these walls, Let not your heart give in to fear, For even now, the light is near. The road may twist, the path may break, Yet every step is one we take. No fall too great, no night too long, We … Continue reading Mind In Motion
I hope you enjoyed reading these powerful quotes and messages, and that in all their diversity, you find one or two… or three! Which resonate with you strongly, wherever you are in your journey right now! ❤️
Prove this wrong! Why care? Sometimes to even manage to care is in itself a tremendous challenge, and from a very basic level, there is your first reason to pursue caring- because to be unable to do so is so very torturous, and certainly a place you don’t want to remain shackled within. So care … Continue reading Why Care?
Narcotics Anonymous- Although I guess I’m sacrificing my own anonymity here amusingly… I’ll happily proclaim my own identity, with pride and nothing near shame. Never would I break the anonymity of anyone besides myself, that goes without saying! I’m sharing an update that I posted to a support group for fellow warriors of recovery from … Continue reading We do return, and we do recover
More than just a ‘service’ So I admit it… Recently, I’ve had a great deal of negative and emotionally charged declarations of fury to spurt out in angry statements, regarding the NHS, and ‘the state of the present day failings’ which recent experiences may well have influenced in shaping my words. In fact, I’ve been … Continue reading Smiles rise across faces, like silent songs, hushing storms as they pass
A poem written by myself 19/10/2024 A place To Fly I have pictures, like paper trials, of a mind, absconded Words can be my muse, but they can deceive and confuse In sketches, the wrought iron gate, whereby the words keep watch, under key, late… A head filled with secret salubrity, ideas, overgrown trenches, sodden … Continue reading A Place To Fly…
Web. 10 Dark Truths that will Make You Stronger. Well worthy re-blog!
Top tips for people in blips - saving yourself from suicide,
A work in progress I’m creating as I too, travel along this life’s journey 🌈❤️
vm.tiktok.com/ZGevAG7E3/ Now that I'm doing the whole sober life thing (not that I ever truly needed chemical assistance to get on the floor and rave like the dance floor is the Lord/Lordess... Lordthey -!?- to which I devote divine worship to, religiously)... I sometimes (every day) miss partying and raving my tits off, like my … Continue reading Enable the (sober life) rave, get thy hose pipe to the garden floor!
I’ve just had a really beneficial, possibly life altering conversation, with a volunteer who works for Hull Mind’s ‘Crisis Pad’ service- which I probably wouldn’t have had a need or chance to do if certain preliminary and pre-existing NHS services, tasked with the rather voluminous task of saving people’s lives within crisis mental health services… … Continue reading A thank you to a previous team, at Mind’s crisis pad- praises well worth singing for those who genuinely save lives.
Written by myself, a fellow warrior of the mental health lived experience debacle, and the journey of learning how to ‘win’… You don’t have to stay strong for everyone. You don’t even ‘have’ to stay strong as a command given to your own self alone… I think you can give yourself permission and validation to … Continue reading You don’t have to be ‘strong’ all the time…
Words can sometimes deceive us, despite their brilliant potential, they also have a power to constrain us, and lack the power to enable certain things to be expressed… We could write and speak, mask and pretend all we like, if only we could, and also, if only we didn’t inadvertently do our mental wellbeing harm, … Continue reading Sketch your emotions free
Good intentions says this little guy, good intentions from the making of this meme- but sometimes don’t we just get sick of hearing this statement, as in to the point of screaming: ‘Fuck off, I ain’t staying strong, I’m falling apart, and I’m too damn tired out to do strong, I’m too damn low to … Continue reading Advice on the journey of healing- your mental health matters
What does "having it all" mean to you? Is it attainable? On ‘attaining it all’ Can it be done? My view: To ‘have it all’, is a misconception of any aspiration, throughout human history and everything we can ever learn and experience, whilst riding out the vast storm, a turbulence of life, tumultuous plus unpredictably … Continue reading ‘Having it all’ means having closeness to ‘no more’
What are you good at? Defiance! Does. This. Psychedelic. Long. haired. Hippy. bird. Look. Like. A. Single. Shred. Of. Compliance. Exists? You are correct, sir. Comply and be defied against my own defiance? No fookin’ chance! 😂😂😂 Defiance is an asset, never a flaw! Remember that, kids! ‘Ok.’ Follow me for ‘Insta grams’ 😉 ⬇️ … Continue reading I am good at…
You won’t know until you know, or I’ve died trying to achieve an end which is for the greater good, particularly in terms of politics, philosophy, and end to globalised corruption, and the primary concern of helping others- most specifically in the dual circumstances of addiction and mental health- but what I’m finding out is … Continue reading A warning…
https://open.spotify.com/track/5GK4ax71sSIokiNEZsND3d?si=eUWfK-i3RCOiPpg7Igzu3w Above/or below at the end of this post , let’s find out... is a song which enabled be to rekindle the light of an identity within myself which I’d too frequently felt I could no longer discover again… I related to the first half of the song, for its harrowing, and spine tingling resonance … Continue reading Identify- Be strong tonight, and remember who you are
🥰 What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness? This question is useful beyond measure to a great degree, especially to fall back upon in times of deep struggles. When you’re in your darkest moments, it’s far from easy to just be able to pull up a list from your head, of any single … Continue reading The famous five… top everyday things that bring me happiness
When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up? My child self, not yet afflicted, totally blissfully unaware of anything other than the freedom to dream I can literally visualise the scenery and the image etched in my memory, transporting me back in time instantly, to answer this. In the … Continue reading Aspirations of my 5 year old self
⬇️⬇️⬇️ https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGemaV9av/ Still pissed off? Then you’re fucked. Because you shouldn’t be. Either that, or you’ve had an Epileptic Seizure, due to my lack of warning about photosensitivity content. In which case, you’re quite right to be pissed off. Sorry I’ve just set you back to point zero in waiting for that one year seizure … Continue reading Instant bad mood reversal for those who are ready to punch a fucking train, watch this
What makes you laugh? This time, the daily oracle answered thus- My own demise. It’s gone stage Mother of Dragons, pal! It can be so fucking bad it’s just plain funny. Then what do you do? Why, you laugh your way back to life! 🌈☮️😂 They said…
Hope is beginning to whisper reassurances back into my ears… Having actually been listened to by a different psychiatrist, it was agreed I would go for a short term inpatient treatment stay at one of the non-assessment wards, Mill View this time, so totally different experience to where I have been before, and gone through … Continue reading Hope to heal
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it? This is an original creation of my late and dearly missed mother. I defy anyone to disagree with me that this wouldn’t make the most spectacular of tattoos. Obviously, the meaning and significance behind it is immense- It is an amazing creation from the … Continue reading The perfect most meaningful tattoo, that I wish I could fund…
Who is the most confident person you know? Guess my answer… The answer to this daily prompt question, asking, ‘who is the most confident person I know?’ Well, I reckon, that despite having had the privilege of meeting some incredibly confident people in my lifetime, and taking inspiration from the their unwavering shine, I find … Continue reading Tooting my own horn without shame 🎺🌈
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings? What an apt daily question to ask, of someone who is officially ‘diagnosed’ as having C-PTSD, BPD, Major Depressive Illness, recurring eating disorders and a history of drug and alcohol addiction! You asked for this! Prepare yourselves for some disturbing answers, and hopefully, a few … Continue reading What a question! Why, Ive got 33 years worth of ‘strategies’, for those officially ‘diagnosed’!
Poem ‘Imprints in the snow’ A reflective piece inspired and triggered by experiences of C-PTSD, recovery, flashbacks, memories, and resilience.
Your Art and your afterlife Art that I drew and revived for you. I finished the Heart and butterflies drawing just seconds after midnight turned into Mother’s Day. That’s good timing for me, I’m usually not the timekeeping master of the century. But you knew that anyway… ❤️ Happy Mother’s Day Mum…. I lit my … Continue reading Happy Mother’s Day, I miss you 💜
A seven minute read about real life Friday Nights (and the other days) mental health survival tactics… Warning- includes video of me actually singing due to loss of shame!
‘The portal’ I just walked up to the small building, which houses the interior of a wonderland called ‘Ground’, which runs Art groups, as I’ve just been enlightened about. As it just so happened, I’d forgotten to ask the time and day the groups were actually on at the time I was told about them… … Continue reading Waking up on the Ground
No, ‘life’, you still haven’t stopped me. I might have been crushed, but I am a soul with the ‘chaos within to give rise to a dancing star‘ to quote Nietzsche, and my energy, compressed… apparently (I’ve noticed, after observing the survival of my intact soul, after countless afflictions, and attacks, have tried to dim … Continue reading Declaration against my defeat
Life can be tough, I’m sure we can all agree. Sure it’s got its beautiful moments and even years, too, but we go through life, and despite individual differences in specific circumstances, we are on a battlefield, always. You can’t afford to let your guard down, neither can you afford to simply hide away from … Continue reading The warrior and the shield
In crisis? You are definitely not alone. This post is not a cure all, just based on my own lived experiences with mental illness and suicidal crises, I hope that some of the ideas I’ve learned from myself and others, in order to survive, might be able help you when you need it so baby too. Please share the word of you can ❤️
Sometimes one feels lost, swept away, from the familiarities of days which felt happier, and it’s easy to miss what you once knew then, you can loathe and dread all the chaos of the unknown, when suddenly, days swamped you with sadness, and your next best direction feels like a cloak over your vision, of … Continue reading Short poem, or lyrics in the making
I’ve not published a bombardment of musical suggestions for some weeks now, and having re-discovered and newly discovered some new fabulous sounds, I felt compelled to share, in case anyone could do with some potential ‘sound plasters’ today, just as I very much do too! Emmy the great- Paper Forest (In the afterglow of rapture) … Continue reading Need some musical first aid today?
Mental health matters, so damn much! We need to do something to save ourselves, and our mental health systems in the UK…. If you don’t have time to read the full article, then please just tap this link and take 5 minutes to read the cause, then decide to sign or not. If you can … Continue reading Let’s unite for better mental health services
*probably shouldn’t be using this GIF*TW? Too late I guess! ❤️❤️❤️ Haha oh the laughs to be had! How did you spend your Valentine’s Day Ellie? Why, I got admitted to a psych ward! Awww, I love you too, plastic mattress, let’s spend the night together! 😂😂😂❤️ Credit for song and lyrics to: Ava Max- … Continue reading Valium be my Valentine
I never, ever, thought I’d have to say goodbye to you, my Mum, so soon and so unexpectedly, unfairly and incomprehensibly, as I did. You were more than my world, you were more than an Art Teacher, Mother, Wife, last surviving sibling of the two, and daughter to your own parents. More than a friend, … Continue reading Our last goodbye
It may have only been ‘just one night’ where I found myself , having lost a colossal extent of self belief, motivation and hope, which ‘led me to using for the night’, but a ‘lapse’ is still technically a ‘relapse’, and it needs to be faced, head on, not hidden away from. To own your … Continue reading The sadness seen in the face of a recovering addict, post- ‘lapse’/‘relapse’
I want to take your hand in mine, then together, try and pull us through. A photo taken when i travelled in India… I think it fits well with the topic I realised it’s going to take more than just written words and spoken testimonies, which match like mirrors, the same actions others have tried … Continue reading To all the lost, the survivors, the families the friends. My mental health is a journey, I too must pursue.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time? I once did a charity skydive for Breast Cancer in 2010… that pursuit of leisure in the name of a good cause, was amazing 🤩 I’ll be honest, it’s hard for me to even remember what my own personal concept of ‘leisure’ could be. I’ve … Continue reading The leisurely pursuit of answering daily questions
You’re still there- no matter how lost you are ‘I’ve lost myself trying to please everyone else… Now I’m losing everyone and finding myself’ -Words written by a friend on a journey towards recovery The words of this friend got to me and moved me in quite a way. I’m sure I’m not alone in … Continue reading Losing and then finding yourself
Helping hands don’t go forgotten Amidst all the chaos of self centred, or overwhelmed, blinkered eyes, who are so many of the people who daily, pass us by, heads tilted to the ground, eyes desperate to dart away when your own eyes come close to meeting their glare… There are a handful of faces, names … Continue reading Shout out to all those unsung heroes- strangers who we wish we could find today, to thank properly for how they helped us in the past- *TW* (suicide, mentions of abuse, and self harm)
Please accept these links to some of my favourite ‘musical first aid’ songs! 1. ‘Song for the crickets’ - Parov Stelar: Open song in Spotify app 2. ‘Why do you only call me when you’re high?’ - Artic Monkeys: Open song in Spotify app 3. ‘Creep’- Radiohead: Open song in Spotify app 4. ‘Angel Eyes’- … Continue reading Musical first aid time
I know I need to write, to let off steam. If I don’t write, then i’ll just be left alone with the thoughts, and the thoughts are crap company. But …Contradictions
‘Do I look high to you!? Never mind my new hat, you just focus on my question!’ And my Dad swears to me that he had fed me no alcohol before taking this picture…! ‘K hole? What K hole!?’ I’m listening to the heartbeat of this soft and soothing pile of pebbles!’ So I have … Continue reading Evidence emerges to prove I have been ‘off my head’ without any need for drugs/alcohol, from the beginning. I was born this way!
Speaking about experiences of abuse of any kind- this is a post alluding to how it affects both men and women, with a personal male account from my own Dad
If you love an addict or an alcoholic, you probably struggle with sadness. Maybe your sadness has spiraled into depression, or anxiety, or some … Why We Are Sad A re-blog I simply had to share, alongside my own ‘reply’ to the perspective of the author who speaks passionately about ‘Why we are sad’… There … Continue reading Why We Are Sad- an original post I’ve re blogged…I’m addressing this subject from the point of view of ‘the other side’
Writing Fanfiction in the worlds of Tolkien and Beyond!
Simple words about a complex life.
Growing Through Books, Defying Social Norms
A Journey of Mental Health Recovery
Writing Sparkle Books
Erotic stories for you
Curiosity is a Mental Wanderlust, and Mind Wandering is the process of connecting loose strings of creative thought.
Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh
Our thoughts define us, so let's focus on a few.
Kinda a poet. Kinda a writer. But not really...
writer. rythmn seeker.
Chaos may Surround you, but Clarity is your Breakthrough.
"Most all of us are mad round here..."
Every step for a brighter path
Mind-in-motion 